The name’s Mo – Sco Mo

The entertainment world is set to be shocked by the imminent announcement that the next James Bond film will star Australia’s Prime Minister Scott Morrison and NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian.

My industry sources tell me that the 25th film in the Bond franchise, Goldstandard, has already begun pre-production and both Morrison and Berejiklian will soon start shooting scenes in Australia under COVID-safe conditions.

Producers are due to announce that Morrison has been picked to replace UK actor Daniel Craig who played the British secret agent 007 with a licence to kill in four blockbuster Bond films.

Industry insiders tell me that Goldstandard will be a partial remake of 1964’s Goldfinger, but instead of fighting organised crime, Bond will be fighting an invisible worldwide virus threatening humankind.

As part of the 2021 version of the film, Berejiklian will take on the “Bond girl” role as 007’s nemesis-turned-love-interest who was played by Honor Blackman in the 1964 version.

I understand Berejiklian has been watching and rewatching Goldfinger and paying particular attention to Blackman’s portrayal of Pussy Galore to help her nail her character Pussy Nomore in Goldstandard.

Insiders say Bond film fans should prepare themselves for a very different 007 played by Morrison.

They say the difference is stark in an early scene in Goldstandard which involves legendary British Secret Service quartermaster Q – played in a touching cameo by 81-year-old George Lazenby, Australia’s only other James Bond.

In it Lazenby as Q offers Morrison’s Bond the chance to equip himself with a huge stock of vaccines to fight the killer virus, but Bond casually rejects the offer by replying: “I don’t hold a syringe, mate.”

Insiders say Goldstandard should be released in time for summer audiences.