Go to Pell, Hell!

Could this be a first for The Bug‘s Media Glass House? We want to praise the national broadshit, The Australian, for finally getting something right.

Admittedly, it’s taken a howler of a literal in a recent edition to garner our fulsome support but faint praise this is not.

To give disgraced Catholic cardinal George Pell a new surname (see top graphic) partly restores our faith in the nation’s leading loss-leader to report stories accurately … well, at least outside of politics.

And Pell will always be Hell for all of us here at the MGH.

And we’ll disagree mightily with the story’s headline. Hell’s … sorry, Pell’s… name will never be cleared. He might have been unconvicted by a black-letter-law High Court full bench of sexual assault charges but anyone who has readily admitted under oath that he’s a paedophile protector who wasn’t really all that interested in what some of the clergy under him were up to (hint: they were up to their nuts in kiddies’ guts) can go to pell … sorry, hell… as far as we’re concerned.

By the way, this wonderful Pell-Hell mixup reminds the MGH of two similar world-class literal fuckups.

There are various versions of this one but we’ll credit The Times in England for it. Reporting on when Queen Victoria opened Newcastle’s Tyne Bridge, the paper reportedly wrote: “After the ceremony the Queen pissed over the bridge…”

The other is much closer to home and MGH knows it to be true because at the time we couldn’t get through ourselves.

In The Courier-Mail in Brisbane a long, long time ago, an ad in the classifieds for a room to rent added the tantalising sweetener: “Cunt lunches available.”

The poor landlady’s phone apparently rang off the hook for days.

Editor’s note: The wonderful Hell typo care of an eagle-eyed Brisbane Bug follower Len Swine. Thank you Les.

***

Publishers of dictionaries around the world may have to revise their definition of the word “exclusive” if the national broadshit keeps using it with such regularity.

The Australian today runs an “exclusive” front-page lead about a new deal struck by the Morrison Government to secure an extra one million Pfizer coronavirus vaccines each week from July. (left in picture)

The shared byline is topped by the paper’s Canberra-based national editor, Dennis Shanahan.

Of course being The Oz, the story is all about how our heroic, and not at all incompetent, PM Scott Morrison has personally secured the extra vaccine supplies.

Is there nothing our great wartime leader and father of the nation not do?

Unfortunately for The Oz and its efforts to act as a daily Liberal Party how-to-vote card, its claim to an “exclusive” story on the deal seems a bit thin.

A smallish story at the bottom of page four in the Brisbane turdbloid The Courier-Mail also reveals that one million Pfizer jabs will be coming our way from July under a new arrangement secured by the feds. (right in picture)

We counted seven stories in the first five pages of today’s edition of The Australian labelled as “exclusive” in bright red ink.

We didn’t have time to analyse all of them, but we do suggest that perhaps the “exclusive” tag should not be used on unquestioned “drops” from politicians to favoured outlets.

That might see a lot less red ink at The Oz, at least on its news pages.