Wallabies win a shock to many

BRISBANE: Emergency departments at hospitals near Suncorp Stadium are slowly clearing of hundreds of Wallabies supporters they’ve been treating throughout the night for severe shock following their team’s last-gasp win against France.

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SYDNEY: NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has decided that to save time at her daily COVID-19 media conference from now on, she is only going to read out the venues in Greater Sydney that are not exposure sites.

She announced those sites this morning as the third cubicle on the left in the men’s public toilets at North Steyne on Manly beach and the kitchen appliances section of Harvey Norman’s Hurtsville super store.

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CANBERRA: The media corp at federal parliament here is reportedly getting more and more frustrated by the behaviour of Lieutenant General John Frewen, appointed by the Morrison government to “wargame” the battle against COVID-19.

Among their gripes is the fact that the three-star general always begins his media calls with “you may smoke if you’ve got them” and that anyone asking a question has to stand rigidly at attention while doing that and can only “stand easy” after his answer is completed.

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JAKATA, Indonesia: Diplomats here and their counterparts in Australia are remaining hopeful that the friendly relationship between the two countries will survive Australia’s decision to give its north-western neighbour 2.5 million doses of AstraZeneca vaccine.

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BRISBANE: Queensland police are investigating claims that a number of French Test rugby players were reportedly spotted at various pub TAB outlets in the inner-city yesterday placing bets on last night’s match at Suncorp Stadium against the Wallabies.

“We’re looking into allegations that the les Bleus might have thrown the match – thrown it away, literally – after the full-time siren, hard as that might be to believe could happen from a professional sporting outfit,” a police media spokesperson said.