Friends avoid negative publicity

WORLD OF ENTERTAINMENT: It’s been revealed that the much-awaited reunion special of popular 1990s US TV sitcom Friends was shot entirely in black and white.

“We figured that in the Black Lives Matter era we were taking a huge risk reviving a show whose ensemble cast consist exclusively of white, entitled, self-absorbed, middle-class arseholes,” a production staff member said.

“So we thought we might be able to escape criticism if we filmed the show in black-and-white, hoping nobody will notice.

“But then we realised the cast’s white faces would still show up as white.

“So in the end we just reversed the negative of the film (main picture) and bingo! Problem solved,” the insider said.

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POLITICS: Prime Minister Scott Morrison has defended his decision to drastically scale down Australia’s diplomatic presence in Afghanistan including closing its embassy and offering a limited fly-in/fly-out service by staff of the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade.

The decision has drawn criticism in light of Australia’s investment of lives, resources, and money in Afghanistan since it joined the US-led invasion of the country 20 years ago in the wake of terrorists attacks on US soil.

“I strongly deny that my government has panicked and is ‘running away’ from Afghanistan or that we are abandoning the Afghan capital before a renewed internal war breaks out and the nation returns to the lawlessness that was its hallmark before we joined the US invasion.

“That’s not a factor in my thinking. I just believe we can do without an embassy in Kaboom,” Mr Morrison said.

SPORT: With the fresh seven-day COVID-19 lockdown in Victoria throwing into grave doubt the first rugby league State of Origin match at the Melbourne Cricket Ground on June 10, fierce fighting has broken out between Queensland and NSW over who should host the match seeing one of them should have fucking well hosted it in the first place.