UK PM rejects attack

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson has hit back at allegations of incompetence in his handling of the COVID-19 pandemic levelled at him by his former key adviser Dominic Cummings.

Mr Cummings fronted a parliamentary inquiry yesterday for seven hours and claimed tens of thousands of UK lives had been lost because of a litany of failures by Mr Johnson and his government in their response to the coronavirus.

His allegations included claims that the UK PM failed to understand the gravity of the pandemic, had not focussed on a proper response to the virus, was obsessed by his media profile, and was not fit to be prime minister.

But Mr Johnson was quick to respond at a news conference outside 10 Downing Street (main picture) which he began by  tap dancing from the front door of his official residence to the lectern outside.

Before beginning his opening remarks, Mr Johnson sang a medley of Vera Lynn’s “hits of the blitz”, ending with The White Cliffs of Dover and then spent some further minutes mimicking the call of bluebirds as mentioned in the song.

Mr Johnson then said Mr Cummings had not told the truth.

“It is clear he was lying to the inquiry,” he told reporters. “I think you chaps, and chapettes, know me well enough to know that there’s no way I wouldn’t know if someone was lying.”

Mr Johnson then gave his trademark bemused/confused look, paused, ruffled his already ruffled hair, and told the media representatives that he would not answer any further questions despite not having given them an opportunity to ask any.

When reporters did begin to pepper the PM with questions about Mr Cummings and his inquiry evidence, Mr Johnson held up his hands and asked for silence.

He then looked strained for several moments before breaking wind loudly and laughing uncontrollably.

“I’m sorry,” he chortled. “It’s just like being back at school. Hey, what-oh, chaps and chapettes?”

When reporters ignored his remark and continued asking questions, Mr Johnson persisted.

“It must have been something I’ve Eton,” he said between guffaws. “Eton! Get it? Eton! Must have been something I’ve Eton!”

When reporters still ignored his attempted joke and pressed him with questions about Mr Cummings’ evidence, the PM said he was disappointed with their attitude.

“Nanny would have got that joke,” he snapped before turning on his heel and tap dancing back into 10 Downing Street.