The Bug is proud to be the first media outlet in the world to publish a photograph that proves beyond doubt that a Big Swinging Dicks Club exists within the Liberal Party hierarchy in Canberra.
This is the club claimed to be responsible for a bullying dominant male hegemony in the nation’s capital and it has apparently been common knowledge within the corridors of power for many years now.
The club’s very existence is said to be a key factor as to why the percentage of LNP women pollies in both the House of Representatives and the Senate has remained woefully low for decades while Labor is now close to 50 per cent.
The club wielded its obviously enormous powers several years ago to thwart former Foreign Minister Julie Bishop’s bid for the top job after Malcolm Turnbull was deposed as PM.
The club’s decision to ruthlessly cut her down was based, not on her talents, her performance as deputy party leader for six years or her clear potential as leader after her success on the international stage, but solely on the fact she clearly didn’t shape up in one crucial area.
This exclusive photo of a club meeting was obviously taken before the last federal election. Club members are from left: former finance minister and now OECD chief Mathias Cormann, Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton, Health Minister Greg Hunt, former Defence Minister and Leader of the House Christopher Pyne (believed to be only an honourary member of the club and its honourary treasurer up to the 2019 election) and current Prime Minister, club president and the biggest dick of them all, Scott Morrison.
A club spokesman refused to answer our questions as to why club meetings were held in the nude and if it was true that six inches constituted a forum.
EDITOR’S NOTE: The Bug was concerned that it might be banned on its social mediocre sites if we published the image above uncensored. Should we have been braver and gone with the original?
Could we have successfully argued that images of flaccid penises – no matter how eye-wateringly large – were not in any way pornographic and were quite acceptable in a world scoop taking the mickey out of a club that, unbelievably, actually exists in any parliament anywhere in the world in the 21st Century. You think we would have got away with it? #metoo.
Bugger it! I think I’ve just convinced myself of the merits of using the untouched image considering its news value, its exclusivity worldwide to The Bug, your No1 family news netzine and its potential to have our readership stats surging to even greater heights!
So here it is!!!!!