GOTHAM CITY: Caped crusader Batman says he has had enough of being shunned and avoided by citizens in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic.
“I’m sick and tired of people giving me a wide berth whenever they see me,” Batman said.
“It’s been going on for almost a year, ever since stories started about human consumption of bats being the source of the COVID-19 pandemic.
“But recently I saw news reports that a World Health Organisation (WHO) investigation had found no firm link between bats and COVID-19.
“Despite the WHO statements that it is ‘extremely unlikely’ the virus originated from bats people are still more than keeping their distance from me.
“I am so over it. Even my sidekick Robin has been going overboard by wearing a mask and insisting on constant use of a hand sanitizer whenever he is near me. (main picture)
“It’s getting really annoying. So help me, I’ll punch the little shit if he keeps it up.”
Batman said it was not just him being singled out for such offensive and discriminatory treatment.
“I happened to be at stately Wayne Manor the other night and local millionaire businessman and philanthropist Bruce Wayne was getting the same treatment from his ward Dick Grayson,” Batman said.
“I told Dick… I mean, Bruce told Dick that he was being a real dickhead and he’d punch the little turd out if he kept it up.
“Of course I wouldn’t …. I mean, Bruce Wayne himself wouldn’t do that.
“I’d get… I mean, he’d get Alfred the butler to give Dick a swift kick in his balls if he keeps it up.
“The little fuckwit can’t say he hasn’t been warned.
“Neither can Robin, if it comes to that,” he added.