The right to not mind your speak


CANBERRA: Two of the federal government’s leading lights have joined forces to protect “the Freedom of Speech rights of all the world’s citizens”.

Treasurer Josh Frydenberg and future Australian Prime Minister Dave Sharma, the member for Wentworth, used a media call at Parliament House to argue that freedom of speech was “an inalienable and untrammable right”.

To make their point, both men brandished Hitler’s War and other books by renowned Holocaust denier David Irving and Mr Sharma explained: “While Josh and I are totally disgusted with Irving’s disgraceful, racist and anti-Semitic views based on absolute lies and a complete denial of historically proven fact, the man has every right to express his views either in writing or orally.

“If he wanted to, he’d be welcome to come to Australia for a full round of speaking engagements to whip up neo-nazi support but don’t expect either of us to turn up.”

To prove their point about freedom of expression, both men then erupted into a rousing rendition of the original version of the German national anthem Deutschlandlied that was banned for a while after World War Two.

The Treasurer then added: “And take for example our colleague Craig Kelly. He’s got every right to spruik treatments for COVID-19 that he believes eradicate the virus even if world medical opinion is 100 per cent that such treatments might kill you even faster that COVID!”

Sharma: “That’s right, Joel… sorry, I meant Josh. If I caught coronavirus, I’d be dying to try the one Craig recommended that involved a large funnel, several metres of tubing and five litres of industrial-strength bleach.”

And then when they realised their media call looked likely to end early, Mr Sharma regaled the socially distanced media with a mournfully slow but moving version of If I Were A Richer Man Through Insider Trading, his own take on one of the hit songs from Fiddler on the Roof.

The Treasurer then joined Sharma in a rousing duet of Matchmaker, Matchmaker during which they spun each other around so fast that their yarmulkes flew off.