Smoko’s over if we’re lucky

Here’s my New Year’s prediction: if Scott Morrison goes for an early election, say in May this year, he will win it.

Why? The simple answer is that he’s a cunt.

Make that a dreadful cunt, totally lacking in any of the basic Christian attributes of decency, honesty and fairness.

A pretty dumb cunt as well but one who has overcome that mental shortfall with the natural cunning of a sewer rat with a gold standard tooth.

And only a true cunt like Morrison would be prepared and happy to fight an election exactly the shameful, dishonest, unethical way he fought the last one. And why wouldn’t he want to? The mainstream media lauded his efforts back – gushed over his genius – in mid-2019.

For let’s not fool ourselves, people. This rolled-gold cunt not only now has the template for success but knows his “miracle” win back then had about as much divine intervention to it as the rotten hangover some of you are nursing this morning. Jesus Christ! No heavenly father made you open those last couple of bottles and you know it.

But what this cunt Morrison also now knows only too well is that constantly attacking the personal character of your opponent works. He knows telling a litany of lies about Labor’s plans works. He has at his disposal once again an obscene amount of public monies on barely disguised pro-government advertising before the election proper. His efforts at pork-barreling next time round will make the poor old sports rorts for which Bridget McKenzie took one for Team Cunt look like a fiddled lamington contest at a local CWA bakeoff or a rigged mystery prize dip at a local fete.

Michael Pasoce keeps updating us with the sheer amount involved next time in the sinister art of pork-barreling, which Gladys Berejiklian has since declared to be a harmless bit of legal politicking that any pollie would be mad not to partake in. The amounts to be spread about like liquid manure on an Irish paddock in the months leading up to the next poll will make most people’s eyes water and give this cunt a visible doughie.

Morrison will once again appeal to the greed of many Australians as he continues to flatten income tax rates away from the progressive system that had served the nation so well. Wishy-washy Labor will be caught in the headlights once more, having stupidly agreed to let the third tranche of those tax cuts through.

Should this wicked, soulesss, self-centred cunt call a quick poll in mid year, he’ll have at least one thing even more in his favour than last time. The mainstream media will remain in his pocket but even more so with the ABC becoming more nervous about funding and more likely to respond to risible claims of left-wing bias.

There might be some downsides. Even a cunt as big a cunt as Morrison probably knows an expensive taxpayer-funded RC to destroy the current Opposition Leader’s credibility and reputation is out of the question. Too little time! Damn!

And that even bigger, worker-hating fat cunt Clive Palmer might not be able to spend $90 million proping the government up this time round with anti-Labor lies about a zillion dollars in taxes and costs. Palmer plucked that one out of his pudgy lazy lard arse.

And if the bloody Labor Party doesn’t put out a major policy in time, that snivelling lowlife Tim Wilson who is enveloped in an ethics-free bubble almost as big as Morrisons won’t be able to chair a taxpayer-funded travelling parliamentary committee show to debunk the policy with a farrago of fibs while garnering Liberal donations and new members.

And the cunt – we’re back to Morrison here – probably won’t be able to stage a laughable media conference with Michaela Cash scaring really dumb voters – yes, mostly in marginal Queensland electorates ‘cos that’s where most of them are – that Labor plans to rip their petrol and diesel cars, trucks and work and play utes off them and make them take out a mortgage to buy EVs. Shorten’s “goal” of 50 per cent electric vehicles by 2030 now looks about as radical as your maiden grand aunt’s dress sense.

Now of course no government in its far-right mind risks giving up a guaranteed extra year in power to take the risk of securing three more but if the polls stubbornly keep this cunt in a strong position against all logic and fairness on the matter of popularity – and to a far lesser degree better PM – and he’s competitive on the two-party, he’s off to visit the GG.

A year early, but he will go with the best wishes of the Newscorpse rags, the Nine Entertainment mastheads, the radio shock jocks and, sadly, the ABC that will also propagate this nonsense that there’s nothing wrong with a government cutting and running after two lousy years. Poll needed because all this election speculation is damaging business confidence, holding back long-term planning, blah, fucking, blah.

So what’s to be done to stop this awful cunt doing that and inflicting the worst ever federal government I’ve seen in my lifetime on the Australian people for another term?

We could hope Anthony Albanese might develop some mongrel and that his shadow cabinet might look as if they’re not happy pushing their arses down on Opposition leather until they retire but the answer, sadly, is US. The Twitterati! We need to do the job of the mainstream media who like the cunt too much and an Opposition who seems to have lost the fire in their bellies.

In the months ahead, we’ve got to tarnish the image of this cunt and his coterie of clowns, crooks, cads, can’t-dos and clingers-on so that an early election loses its appeal. And we have no time to waste.

Since before the last election, I have followed anyone on Twitter with anything rotten to say about this cunt. Many have followed back but now, unlike Gladys, I’m asking for this to be mandatory.

We’ve got to support one another – become super spreaders – so that we are a united, unbeatable, group. We’ve got to be resourceful, totally committed and more than just a little ruthless.

We’ve got to match this cunt’s rat cunning and the marketing blitz he’ll unleash with MSM help in coming months – most Bunnings shelves will be bare; the professionally stages photos of the Father of the Nation will be endless! – with a tsunami of truths about what this mendacious, self-centred, pretend bloke next door, the harmless favourite uncle, sports loving, faux Christian cunt of limited intelligence is really all about.

We’ve basically got to take this cunt’s reputation apart in a way that makes Glady’s attempts at shredding look amateurish.

And the first question we’ve got to ask ourselves is: should we go personal? And of course the answer, mine at least tempered by a lifetime of being told to always play the ball not the man, is: You fucking betcha!

Morrison is the third of three disgusting, cowardly, PMs who threw decency overboard to launch the most vindictive and disgraceful personal attacks on an Opposition leader in my lifetime of following politics. And I started listening to federal parliament on my crystal set in the 50s.

On the back of that disgusting RC that had no other purpose than to besmirch Julia Gillard and Bill Shorten and especially to destroy to prime ministerial career of the latter, the gutless trio of Abbott, Turnbull and Morrison in their turn used QT after QT and for year after year to paint Shorten as a man who trampled workers for his own selfish ends, a sycophantic brown-nosing snake in the grass trying to slither his way into the Lodge.

And Morrison’s constant refrain during the last federal campaign? “Bill Shorten lies; that’s all he ever does. He lies and he lies and he lies”. If we didn’t already, we now know that Smoko making such accusations is hypocrisy with a capital H; it’s akin to a litigation-happy Clive Palmer complaining about his lawyers’ bills.

So my advice for the Twitterati who share my view that we’ve got to get rid of this cunt for Australia’s sake: Go hard. Call him out for what he is. But let’s leave his family out of it, okay?

I’ve got no particular hashtag in mind for our guerilla campaign. I do like #sendthiscuntpacking but a lot good ones exist and we should all use our favouries – #liarfromtheshire #crimeminister #thecrookfromcook #scummo #smoko #scottiefrommarketing, #thesloganbogan, etc, etc.

Let’s hammer away at what we know to be true about this cunt. His dubious work history. The fact that he can’t lie straight in bed. The disgraceful way he needed the Dirty Diggers help to win selection for Cook; his happy clapping devotion to a Pentecoastal prosperity doctrine that means he doesn’t give a flying fuck about those left behind. How else could he come up with pure unadulterated bullshit such as “those who want a job will get a job”.

One of my personal favourites is his inability to get through a couple of sentences without slurring or mispronouncing something. He’s either pissed or pretty dumb – my guess is both.

I reckon we can turn this around just by highlighting the personality flaws of this mendacious, blame-shifting, bullying, smirking, lazy cunt without even resorting to all his failures in government; the dodgy deals with privateer mates, the deadly robodebt scandal with its billion-dollar-plus payouts, the $70 million wasted on a COVID-10 app that never worked; the hundreds of millions wasted on shonky refugee security firms, The Beetrooter’s outrageous expenses bill for drought envoy work penned on some beer coasters at the Uralla pub, the gold standard criminality of some of his cabinet; his lies in Parliament over his involvement in the sports rorts scandal. The list is never-ending.

Let’s get cracking, Australia! We might survive another year of this cunt’s incompetence; we may never recover from another three.

Don Gordon-Brown