Has God abandoned PM?

CANBERRA: Rumours are swirling around the national capital here that Prime Minister Scott Morrison has moved away from his Christian faith after sadly concluding that Jesus Christ the God Almighty has deserted him in his hour of need.

And Jenny Morrison has spoken openly about how heartbreaking it has been over the Christmas period to watch her husband struggling with his faith after God ignored his pleas for the Heavenly Father to help that Sri Lankan family of four imprisoned for a thousand days on Christmas Island.

“For some days now, I’ve found Scott on one of The Lodge’s lovely lawns on his knees, his hand raised to God and sobbing uncontrollably as he implored his Lord and Master to free the family and let them go back to Biloela,” Mrs Morrison told The Bug.

“Well, he was actually speaking in tongues but I taped him on my iphone and his good friend Pastor Brain Houston from Hillsong Church translated his pleas for me.

“He spends hours on his knees muttering “Why, oh, why won’t my Divine Master do something to end this poor family’s misery. It’s inhuman and vile what they are being put through.”

Mrs Morrison said the possibility that her husband was losing his religious faith became clear on Christmas Day when he had no desire whatsoever to go to the local equivalent of the family’s Pentecostal Horizon Church in the Sutherland area or even attend one of his great fiend Pastor Houston’s Hillsong services by zoom and buy some of their merchandise.

“It’s breaking my heart to see him now so unsure about his faith. He now spends hours just rocking back and forward chanting “cama cara nera nosa sammy wammy tosa nosa wicky wacky brown” …. sorry…. “If there was only something I could do myself!”

It’s not known whether the PM will from now on describe himself as an atheist or an agnostic as the Liberal Party is is still awaiting the results of snap internal polling as to which description will garner the more votes should a very early election be called in 2021 as The Australian keeps predicting and praying for while his ratings remain high.