Joe’s got batting talent to burn

CRICKET:

ADELAIDE: Joe Burns will not be opening the batting for Australia in the pink-ball day-night Test that begins here at the Adelaide Oval this afternoon after all.

In late breaking news, it turns out that while Burns is in the starting eleven, the Australian selectors have gratefully accepted an offer from the Indian side giving Burns a guaranteed 10 runs for the match – five per innings.

Burns is pictured above celebrating in a recent Test after a snick-drive through slips got him off the dreaded duck.

Acceptance of the Indian offer means that when Matthew Wade and Marcus Labuschnge walk out to begin the first Australian innings – be it today or in response to the Indian first-innings total – the Australians will already be one for 5.

Australian captain Tim Paine explained: “We couldn’t have hoped for a better start to our innings than that.

“While I’ve freely admitted I can’t read a pitch very well before the coin toss, I’m not good at defending big totals and I’m hopeless about when to use the DRS well, I do know a great deal when I see one.

“The offer from the Indian camp is very generous and one that we have very happily accepted.”

For the scoresheet and the record books, the opening Indian bowlers have agreed to share Burns’ wickets for the Test, one bowled and one LBW.