‘Do the right thing by my mob!’

FEDERAL POLITICS:

One of Australia’s most respected indigenous leaders has slammed the Senate’s decision to restrict the rollout of the controversial Indue cashless card.

Aunty Pauline (pictured above) of the Oo-mow-ma-mow-mow peoples of the Lockyer Valley has once again used her seat in the Senate to argue the Indue (Indigenous Use Exclusively) card must be made a permanent feature in Aboriginal settlements around the nation “to protect my mob against themselves”.

The Senate mid week thwarted the federal government’s wishes for the card to be permanent in various parts of the country and instead extended trials for only another two years.

Her voice waivering and her syntax jumbled on purpose the way she does to give the impression she’s ever dumber than her One Nation supporters, Aunty Pauline told the Senate just before it rose for the year: “We all know my mob has forfeited any rights when they accept welfare money provided by Australia’s hard-working white peoples.

“Give my people unfettered access to their various welfare payments and we all know they’ll go right out and spend it on piss and the pokies and that’s simply not right!

“Whities would never do that.”

Too emotional to talk further about the plight of her peoples, Aunty Pauline then avoided the Canberra media crush keen to talk to her because she makes such great copy and video grabs by going walkabout in the beautiful parklands surrounding Capital Hill in the perfect disguise – a full-length burqa with niqab.