Georgia on what’s left of Trump’s mind

WASHINGTON, DC: Online bookies here continue to slash the odds of the Democrats gaining control of the Senate as news emerges that US President Donald Trump plans more rallies in the crucial state of Georgia.

Campaigning as if the 2020 presidential campaign was still under way and victory was still up for grabs, President Trump spent two hours whipping up thousands of supporters at a weekend rally in the southern state where the final two Senate positions will be decided on run-off votes on January 5.

Should the two Democrats candidates defeat their Republican rivals, the Democrats will effectively control both Houses of Congress, making President-elect Joe Biden’s legislative program much easier to implement.

A belligerent Trump told his supporters in Valdosta, Georgia: “Didn’t I tell you, folks, that COVID-19 would never be mentioned again after election day? That’s right! It was all fake news, people!

“Not a word anywhere about coronavirus, huh? Not even from that treacherous, two-faced FoxNews that deserted me in my time of need!”

His fan based cheered widly at that and the few supporters in the crowd who had been reluctantly wearing facemasks ripped them off and tongue-kissed people around them, even complete strangers.

“I won the presidential election easily before all those illegal votes were counted and we’ll win both senate vacancies in your wonderful state,” President Trump shouted as he mimicked grabbing a woman’s pussy and his supporters to a man and a woman grabbed their red MAGA caps and threw them into the air and let off volleys of semi-automatic rifle fire.

Many then used their cellphones to tell the coloured help the rally was going longer than expected and that their evening meals should be served right on time at 9pm instead of the 8pm as previously directed.

Although Biden is the first Democratic candidate to win the state of Georgia in a presidential election since 1992, pollsters up to now have reasoned that the chances of the Democrats taking both Senate vacancies were about as strong as Trump still being married to Melania in late January.

But most bookies now have their doubts. “If Trump runs a series of these rallies as he’s indicated,” one bookie explained, “many thousands of his most rabid supporters should be dead by voting day on January 5. And Georgia is by no means the biggest state in the union.

“And they are unlikely to have voted early because the president has urged them not to.”

And as this story was being finalised for uploading, The Bug has learnt that President-elect Biden’s campaign team has offered to fund as many Georgian rallies as President Trump wishes to hold over the next few weeks.