Ministerial honours for top scribes

BRISBANE: Two of Queensland’s most senior and respected journalists have been appointed as defacto shadow ministers in Opposition Leader David Crisafulli’s new frontbench lineup.

They are Chris Jones, editor of The Courier-Mail and Kelvin Healey, editor of the Sunday Mail.

The freshly installed LNP leader (pictured at top with his new right-hand and even further right-hand men) admitted appointing ministers who did not sit in parliament was unusual but he was determined to continue to use “both men’s exceptional talents as we confront the dreadful reality of four more years of socialist Labor”.

“Both Chris and Kelvin will share responsibilities for a newly formed Department for Propaganda to bring constantly to the public eye ongoing examples of lazy governance and corruption in the tired and wornout Palaszczuk administration and to highlight our excellent policies moving forward.”

In a joint statement, both men thanked Mr Crisafulli for his faith in them and promised they would not let him down.

“We are as horrified as anybody that by the time of the next state election in 2024, Labor will have governed the Sunshine State for 28 years of the past 34!” they said.

“This is simply not right. What on earth were Queenslanders thinking on October 31?”

The Bug understands highly respected political columnist Peter Gleeson will be Minister Jones’s principal media adviser while Des Houghton will take up similar duties in Mr Healey’s office.

Both newly appointed ministers and their media minders will work out of the LNP’s Bowen Hills branch.

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SYDNEY: Former Queensland Premier Peter Beattie has told his regular morning media call outside his Sydney home that he will not be commenting on any one particular issue today.

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CANBERRA: Newscorp Australia mastheads around the nation have splashed today with editorials calling on the Morrison government to resign in disgrace over the $1.2 billion payout over the deadly and illegal Robodebt scheme.

If you didn’t know The Bug’s news briefs are all made up, you do now.