Quiet day for rivals

WASHINGTON DC: After spending recent days barnstorming key states in frantic last-minute campaigning, President Donald Trump and his challenger Joe Biden have so far spent a relatively quiet election day as Americans vote in the crucial 2020 election.

This morning, shortly after dawn broke in the nation’s capital, one of The Bug’s Washington-based reporting team found Mr Trump in the White House printing office in the West Wing basement.

The President was clearly surprised when confronted by The Bug team along with Vice-President Mike Pence and Republican Senate Leader, Mitch McConnell. (main picture)

All three men were wearing ink-stained overalls or work clothes when discovered.

Mr Trump appeared flustered and was initially unable to explain the trio’s presence and activities.

“Well, Mike and Mitch and I have a great interest in printing,” Mr Trump eventually said, waving a gloved and ink-stained hand at the other two men.

“Kinda like a hobby. Yeah, I’d say it’s a hobby for all of us.”

Mr Pence agreed. “Yessiree, the President and I and Mitch have always had a fascination with old, antique if you like, printing presses,” he said.

“But we’ve had so little time to indulge our hobby in recent years.,” Mr Pence said.

Senator McConnell also agreed, saying: “Yes, the President and Vice-President are absolutely right.

“In fact you wouldn’t believe it, but today of all days is the one occasion we’ve all had any spare time to  come down her to the printing office to check out all these lovely old historic machines,” he said while patting a new model laser printer that was, as he spoke, speedily churning out hundreds of small printed items which The Bug’s reporter was prevented from seeing after the President summoned Secret Service officers to escort our reporter from the building.

Meanwhile in suburban Wilmington in Delaware, Mr Biden was relaxing at home where he welcomed The Bug into his basement for a previously scheduled interview.

Mr Biden, who appeared to have forgotten to dress, said he looked forward to election day.

“Our nation has lost so many opportunities under this President,” Mr Biden said.

“America has just drifted under the current administration. We needs new leadership.

“I really do hope voters agree with me that John Kennedy is just the man to deliver it,” he said before his wife Jill asked The Bug to leave.