Trump plays the long game

US President Donald Trump has outlined his long-term plan to serve as the nation’s “President forever”.

Mr Trump, who has lately taken to appearing naked at his rallies (main picture), told a crowd in the swing state of Pennsylvania that he was now “not only immune to the coronavirus but also immortal”.

“I believe my immunity and now my immortality is a gift to me directly from God,” he told the cheering crowd.

“My immortality means I can easily serve out a second term as your President, and then a third, and fourth, and so on for eternity.

“So it’s no longer a matter of me serving as your President for ‘four more years’. It’s all about me serving as your President forever,” he declared as the crowd erupted in cheers and some celebratory gunfire that killed at least two people and injured several more.

Mr Trump said he was planning more mass rallies for his supporters that would not include any COVID-19 precautions and he foreshadowed his plan to double down on his recent attacks on his Democratic opponent Joe Biden.

“I gotta tell you immunity and immortality feels good. Real good. Oh yeah,” he told the Pennsylvania rally.

“I feel a heck of a lot better than Shrunken Slutty Sissy S-Bend Joe Biden.

“Poor old demented, nappy-wetting S-Bend Biden. There’s no better name for him because he’s full of shit just like his adult diapers.”

Mr Trump ended the rally by moving from the stage to hug supporters at the front of the crowd before joining in an impromptu lambada dance with several women who had also removed their clothing, and making good on his promise at a previous rally to give open-mouth kisses to several women as well.

After the event the President was questioned about the positive coronavirus diagnosis for his teenage son Barron which was announced by the White House today.

“Yeah, Barron’s got the China-Biden virus. Poor kid,” Mr Trump said.

“But it’s a mild case I’m told and he’s doing well. But we just don’t know how he acquired it. It’s a mystery,” he said.