Palmer’s bold plan to rid Qld of Labor

STATE POLITICS:

Self-confessed billionaire businessman Clive Palmer plans to spend at least $17 million on a cross-media advertising blitz to save his fellow Queenslanders from another term of the “disastrous communist Palaszczuk Labor government”.

The mining magnate disclosed the unparalleled state-election spend in an exclusive interview yesterday with The Bug in a park in Railway Estate in Townsville (pictured above).

”I may have to spend more but I think that amount should get my central Queensland coal mine projects …. sorry, I mean the LNP opposition …..over the line, even with Deb Frecklington as leader.

“I was never going to leave it to the News Corp papers across the state to get the job done because they’re about as useful as workers at a rusting and disused nickel refinery,” the former federal MP and leader of the United Australia Party said.

The Courier-Mail, the Sunday Mail and the big regional dailies went about as hard as anyone possible could at the last two state elections and failed miserably. They really think people listen to them. Surely the stupid cunts at these papers could just look at their freefalling circulation figures to know hardly anyone reads their shitty rags any more.”

Mr Palmer continued: “No, the key to influencing Queensland voters is to always remember how fucking stupid they are.

“These are the people who thought Bill Shorten last year was going to take their petrol and diesel utes and other farm and recreational vehicles off them. And tax them to death and beyond.

“Greed has always been the other big vote-changer up here. Queenslanders hate the idea of losing a single cent to any level of government and that’s why my ads last year were so successful in the federal election.palmers shifty shorten ad - net

“I’ll be using the same template (pictured) and probably the same made-up and totally ridiculous  trillion dollar tax and costs figure.

“Bananabenders really do go for complete bullshit. How long was my mentor and friend Johannes Bjelke-Petersen Premier?

“We’ll photoshop a really awful image of Premier Palaszczuk and I’m leaning towards the  heading underneath being: TELL THE POLISH PRINCESS SHE’S FINISHED!

Palmer admitted the big spend was unlikely to gain his party a seat at the 31 October poll, just as in the federal election in May, 2019.

“Queenslanders are stupid but they’re not that fucking stupid,” Palmer explained.

“But my strong anti-Labor message should shift enough voters across to other right-wing parties such as One Nation and Katter’s Australian Party who care even less about battlers and the working class than I do.

“That should get my Waratah Coal projects in the Galilee Basin …. sorry I mean the Queensland LNP …..over the line, even with Deb Frecklington as leader.”