More ‘carrot and stick’ in store

DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS:

The Chinese Embassy in Canberra has alluded to further punitive actions against Australia on trade in the wake of Morrison Government calls for an international inquiry into the COVID-19 pandemic including an examination of the role of the People’s Republic of China in the spread of the virus.

At a news conference held today in the embassy grounds (main picture) a Chinese pangolin, sometimes called a spiny anteater, lambasted the Morrison Government for allegedly blaming China for the pandemic without proof.

Through a translator, the pangolin noted he and his kind had already been cleared of any involvement in the spread of the pandemic.

“Just last week the Guangdong Institute of Applied Biological Resources in China released its research findings showing that we pangolins were not the intermediate hosts for the virus as it progressed from bats — its most likely original source — to humans,” he said.

“Yet how widely has that news been reported? Almost nowhere. People are still keen to spread misinformation about us, and by ‘us’ I mean pangolins and China in general.”

afrfp180520Under questioning from reporters the pangolin agreed that ongoing criticism of China and its response to the pandemic may have further impacts on its trade and commercial links with Australia.

He pointed to a story in today’s Australian Financial Review (pictured) describing as a “carrot and stick” approach China’s tactic of blocking the purchase of Australian commodities such as beef and barley in the wake of Australian government calls for an international COVID-19 inquiry.

“Yes, I agree that China in this case has taken a ‘carrot and stick’ approach,” the pangolin said. “We will continue to take such an approach, as is our right as a sovereign nation.

“Basically, your ability to sell almost all your exports into China is the carrot and if you don’t like anything we do, then you can stick it up your arse.”

The pangolin then called an end to the news conference and walked back to the embassy building while ignoring reporters’ questions about what his relationship with the Chinese Embassy was, what he was doing in Australia, how and when he arrived here, and whether or not he had been socially isolated for 14 days after arriving in the country.