Parrot goes at the beak of his powers


Where has all the honesty in politics gone?

I posed this question the other day when Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese was asked to comment on the decision of veteran Sydney shockjock Alan Jones to pull the pin on his radio career at 2GB at the end of the month.

Albanese began with the usual “we differed on a large number of issues” line but then watched his manners and did the usual tribute to a long and successful broadcasting career and how Jones had been good at raising funds for charity. Blah, blah, blah.

Albo!  This is the pompous prick who vilified “Juliar” Gillard every chance he got; made the disgusting comment that her father had died of shame and told his increasingly demented audience that Gillard should be put in a chaff bag, taken out to sea and dumped.

Labor should be maintaining a white-hot rage against this wretch and that’s why I expected to hear Albanese say  of the shock jock’s retirement:  “Thank fucking Christ for that” or “Bugger! I though you were going to tell me the dreadful rightwing cunt had carked it”.

Instead we got mindless platitudes. Honestly, Albo, you’re going to have to realise sooner than later that coming across as nicer than Scott Morrison – Hannibal Lecter could do that – will not get you to The Lodge.

Here’s my take on the Parrot.

At the outset, I am not at all interested in what he did in the privacy of his own London public toilet glory hole.

I certainly won’t be trawling over the scurrilous joke explaining the origin of his avian nickname.

And you will definitely not be hearing from me that other old joke about how angry the rest of a particular rugby union team were when Alan as coach pulled off one player at half time while they only got orange slices.

The bottom line of all this is the man has serious personalty defects that have nothing to with where the Parrot parks his percy.

He is a dreadful misogynist.

The gay men I know love women; Jones’s disgusting comments about Julia Gillard were matched by many others against women in power. Jacinda Ardern recently, Sydney Lord Mayor Clover Moore, the Opera House CEO more recently.

Jones for decades has clearly detested the fact these strong and powerful women had taken jobs that should have gone to men.

Then, of course, there’s his far right-wing politics. Australian media will always be largely  owned by rightwing arseholes but Jones went way beyond expectations. A right wing nutjob who slavishly supported rightwing governments, Jones would go down on his hands and knees to pay homage to his one true love; unhanged war criminal, lying rodent and man of steel John Howard.

Labor people on his shows invariably copped a putdown rather than a look in.

There was his constant dog-whistling on race and religion. His role in inciting the Cronulla race riots should have ended his career.

He cost his employer large amounts of money with highly defamatory views based on the slimiest of information or scuttlebutt. Example: the cause of the deadly Grantham floods.

His cash for comments admissions should have decimated his audience base if they weren’t so stupidly ignorant.

His refusal to accept climate change and his downplaying of coronavirus displays total ideologically based ignorance.

So, while Albo chose to be nice and muted and various rightwing arseholes have spent some days painting Jones as the greatest, silver-tongued radio communicator this nation has ever known based on dubious ratings, there are plenty more outlining his many despicable faults and pondering whether he really has quit on doctor’s orders or been pushed over a falling advertiser base.

I’m glad for Australia’s sake he’s hanging up the radio microphone but I’m not expecting any long-term replacement to be much of an improvement.

Jones at 79 has been an old man set in his obnoxious ways for a long time now, spitting out his venomous simple messages to an equally old and decreasing audience of simple- minded people with fond memories of the White Australia Policy and the strong and steady leadership of Robert Menzies.

It’s a crying shame he will continue to poison potty and paranoid minds through newspaper articles and SkyNews appearances, where hundreds if not tens of viewers will lap up his lazy, simplistic, sophistic spiels.