Take that, Artie, Wally, Darren, Cameron..

media dinkus

Artie Beetson will be spinning in his oversized grave. The King will be flushed with understandable anger. Gorden Tallis, Darren Lockyer and Cameron Smith will be rendered speechless and rightly so.

Alfie Langer might be so distraught he’ll never, ever, spend most of future Broncos matches on the field yelling instructions, if the NRL ever returns, that is.

And Channel 9 Sydney sports reporter Danny Weidler is entirely to blame.

In a Tuesday night interview (pictured at top) with Boyd Cordner, Weidler enthused of Cordner …”he’s the man who holds the most prestigious roles in the game…. the Australian captain and Blues skipper….”

HE SAID WHAT!

That’s right, Buggers. Ouch! Apparently captaining the NSW State of Origin side is the second best thing any emerging rugby league player in all of Australia can ever aspire to do.

Which makes some sense if you’re talking about second best.

The Queensland Maroons have won 62 State of Origin matches to the NSW Blues’ 53, with two draws.

Who would have thought that Danny “if it doesn’t happen in Sydney it doesn’t count” Weidler would think that second best is simply the best.

We all know that Sydney considers itself God’s gift to the world and Weidler’s putdown reminded The Bug of the time it wandered into an inner-Sydney venue where The Chaser was celebrating its first birthday as a fairly average, undergraduate-standard print publication. About 1994 from memory.

A quarter of Sydney’s glitterati – Andrew Denton – was master of ceremonies as the Chaser boys raised funds to keep their moderately funny print publication going.

The Bug went along even though The Chaser had proudly proclaimed under its masthead from day one “Australia’s only satirical newspaper” which pissed us off mightily.

When we dropped in on that birthday bash and bought something for $100 to see if they could improve with time, The Bug had just celebrated its fifth birthday. We had some key Sydney distribution points (well, the Harlequin Inn at Pyrmont, a teachers’ union and trades hall) and Malcolm Farr was our UDO (unpaid distributions officer) for the Canberra press gallery.

Still, as they say, if it doesn’t happen in Sydney…..

***

Still on sport, ABC News Breakfast co-host Lisa Millar told us the other morning while maintaining acceptable social distancing that while Steve Smith’s two-year Test captaincy ban had ended, the current skipper Tim Paine was doing a mighty job.

Is this the same Tim Paine who admitted after the northern Ashes that he wasn’t very good at defending a big total, wasn’t all that crash hot at reading pitches before the coin toss and was pretty much a no-hoper when it came to sending DRS decisions upstairs.

All that is why a clearly superior Aussie side did not win the northern Ashes 4-0 as it should have and had to do with an embarrassing 2-2 draw, albeit retaining the Ashes in the process.

True, the Australian Test side has done okay of late in series against Pakistan and New Zealand and sits third on the Test rankings, but The Bug makes a few simple points.

One: We must never lose sight of the main picture. The only cricket matches that count are when we colonials boys give daddy in old blighty a flogging.

Two.  It follows then that the only series that counts is the Ashes and the next one is Down Under if Australia still exists two summers from now.

Three. The Bug was as appalled as anybody over Smith’s cowardice and lack of leadership over #sandpapergate but it doesn’t believe in double or enduring punishment. The powers-that-be set time game ban and leadership aspiration penalties and they have been served. Talk of punishing Smith further is wrong.

Smith won the northern Ashes for us and if he’s still a batting superstar in the lead-up to the 21-22 home series and is the best man, one with lessons learnt, to captain the side, then the sooner the better.

***

In January this year we ran an item on what appeared to us as the use, or more accurately the overuse, of the description “eye-watering” by The Courier-Mail when running stories about the cost of just about anything.

eyewteringjan20At the time we pointed to two stories, one about the “eye-watering” $50 million cost of fitting out a new building being developed in Brisbane for the Australian Tax Office and the “eye-watering” $100,000 price tag for a review commissioned by the Queensland Government of gas royalty payments (pictured).

As you can see, it doesn’t matter what the quantum of spending happens to be, it seems any price paid for any service or item is “eye-watering”.

At the time we urged the paper to perhaps be a little less lazy in seeking adjectives to describe spending and we did make the point that the cover  price of The Courier-Mail may attract the same description in some readers’ watery eyes.

But, alas, our pleas fell on deaf eyes…. I mean ears.

Because yesterday in the online edition of the Courier we found a story on the “eye-watering” salaries paid to the principals of a handful of Queensland’s elite private schools (pictured).eyewteringschools

A quick word search brought up around a dozen online yarns about “eye-watering” covering from everything from child care fees, Gold Coast houses, and personalised car rego plates, to US Super Bowl tickets. Just a few of those in the search list are reproduced below.

We at The Bug feel like taking up a collection and buying a dictionary for those at The Courier-Mail but a check with a major book retailer shows we’d need to pay an eye-watering $9.99 for a budget edition of a Macquarie Dictionary and we’re not sure our staff would contribute enough to a whip-around.

eyewtering