Band takes big hit from Coronavirus

anews in brief dinkus

LOS ANGELES: Thirty-one years after their initial worldwide hit, local rock band The Knack (pictured) are back at the top of the charts with their revamped and topical tune, My Corona.

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WASHINGTON, DC: Fears are growing across the United States that US President Donald Trump will not catch Coronavirus and be forced to retire from politics.

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SYDNEY: The Australian Retailers Association is reporting that almost all high-end fashion and other boutique outlets at mega shopping centres throughout the nation are totally empty of customers with owners and or staff asleep at their counters.

“I suppose at the very least their plight can’t get any worse if Coronavirus starts to have an impact on their trading levels,” an ARA spokesperson said.

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CANBERRA: Prime Minister Scott Morrison has pushed back by a week the start of the ban of gatherings of more than 500 people to help combat the spread of Coronavirus after finding out that Hillsong Church had some special post-conference activities and merchandising sale planned for next weekend.

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GENEVA: Medical laboratories around the world are very close to finding the perfect vaccine to combat the Coronavirus pandemic, the World Health Organisation now believes.

This follows the startling revelation from doctors on Australia’s Gold Coast that the Coronavirus cells that put Australia’s Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton in hospital quarantine died almost immediately after infecting their host.

“The minister has graciously allowed his blood samples to be used in research labs worldwide and there could be a Nobel prize in it for him,” a WHO spokesperson said.