Pelosi cries foul

Speaker of the US House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi, has struck a brick wall in her efforts to have social media giant Facebook take down a video she claims grossly misrepresents her actions at the end of President Donald Trump’s State of the Union Address in early February. Here is a transcript of a news conference she called in Washington to outline the issue.

PELOSI: I’ve called you all here today to explain the problems I have encountered in my efforts to have Facebook take down a false and misleading video of me. Some anonymous political agitator has taken the footage of me tearing up the President’s speech notes at the State of the Union Address and changed it to make it look like I’m dismembering a live chicken (pictured).

CNN NEWS REPORTER: What has Facebook told you?

PELOSI: Facebook refuses to see this as a classic case of dirty tricks — probably by Republic Party operatives, or even the Russians. But Facebook won’t take it down.

CNN NEWS REPORTER: What’s their rationale?

PELOSI: Facebook says while the video may depict a faked incident, the video itself is not fake — it’s a real video of a fake event so it passes their algorith, and besides it’s getting lots of views which means Facebook advertisers are happy.

FOX NEWS REPORTER: Ms Pelosi, why did you tear that poor innocent chicken apart?

PELOSI: Wait  a minute…..

FOX NEWS REPORTER: The poor animal must have been in terrible pain. How could you?

PELOSI: But, hang on. I don’t even like chicken.

CNN NEWS REPORTER: So why were you slaughtering the chicken if you weren’t going to eat it?

PELOSI: Oh for fu….

FOX NEWS REPORTER: Do you get some sort of bizarre sexual pleasure out of tearing animals to pieces and watching them writhe in agony and bleed to death?

PELOSI: I’m not going to answer that sort …..

WASHINGTON POST REPORTER: Do you think your actions in tearing that chicken apart will hurt the Democratic Party in this election year?

PELOSI: Hang on. My actions? I didn’t do anything. Haven’t you been listening?

WASHINGTON POST REPORTER: Actually, no. I’ve been live tweeting this news conference and I missed the first bit because I was Googling the spelling of dismembre. I mean dismember. But Madam Speaker you must concede your vicious act of animal cruelty has the potential to hurt the Democratic Party in the November elections in major poultry-producing states like Indiana, Ohio, and Pennsylvania?

PELOSI: I don’t believe this shit. (Ms Pelsoi departs)

WASHINGTON POST REPORTER (to Fox News Reporter): How do you spell rythe?

FOX NEWS REPORTER: Not like that.