Exactly what does the LNP stand for?

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It’s a good question, isn’t it? Exactly what does the LNP really stand for?

Lying Nasty Pricks?

Sort of lets Bridget McKenzie off the hook though, doesn’t t it?

Lying Nasty Pudendas? For the likes of her, Senator Michaelia Cash and Sussan “this goes with that goes with this goes with that” Ley.

But that conjures up images that don’t deserve thinking about at any time, especially with those three and after you’ve just eaten, don’t you think?

A journalist friend in Brisbane whom I won’t name but who provides excellent speech writing and other journo services at very reasonable rates suggested Lascivious Nutjob Parasites. or Larcenous Nutjob Parasites?

Not bad first efforts from John Reynolds. He has a website if you need professional help from a veteran and much respected wordsmith.

I played with using ‘N’ for AND and came up with Lacking Any Principles. Working too hard?

So, what is the LNP I’m taking about and why the obsession with coming up with an acronym that suits it down to a T.

There’s two actually: the federal coalition in Canberra, known as the Liberal National Party government and the single party conservative force in Queensland, the Liberal National Party of Queensland.

Both of late –  oh, who are we trying to kid; for a long time – have been trying their very worst to put the current sad distrust of the democratic process in this country right down in the crapper.

We don’t need to chronicle the never-ending disclosures of sports and other grants rorts that the LNP in Canberra got up to when they thought they were going to lose last year’s election as they thoroughly deserved to.

The stench from the constant dripfeed of scandalous and in some cases illegal pork barreling coming out of the national capital is settling unpleasantly over all of Australia and not just remote and regional areas such as North Sydney and the Cronulla shire.

The only real question that arises from these revelations is a simple one: How the fuck has Smoko/Scummo/SloMo still got the job as prime minister?

The only people in Australia who don’t believe the PM was up to his neck in these rorts and who are not wondering why his Smirky McSmirk Face is still attached to that neck are LNP members, the families who still love them, and staffers.

Smoko has clearly misled Parliament over his involvement in these rorts and judgment day must surely come sooner or later …. well, at least it would in a perfect world where voters and the media cared about things and were worried about the future of democracy in this former lucky country of ours.

Up in Queensland, the LNP continues to cheat away merrily as it attempts to hold on the the Brisbane City Council for another four years by any means foul or fouler.

Applying the famous LNP adage – win at any cost – the LNP council before the current campaign period began didn’t raise the slightest hint of a blush when it splashed ratepayers’ money to run advertisements across double pages in community newspapers that clearly had no other purpose than to promote existing LNP councillors.

Decent, ethical people on Brisbane – and we know where all 23 live – could do nothing but shake their heads in disgust.

And to keep up a tradition that now goes back four elections, the LNP continues to use the council’s official intellectual property – distinctive blocks of blue and yellow down the left-hand-side of official council documents, signs, etc – for their own campaign.

Last time I looked, council rules distinctly forbid the use of the council’s IP branding for party political use. Then again, have the rules that apply to the great unwashed ever bothered the LNP, regardless of what the L, the N and the P stand for?

It must be of great comfort to a political party to present itself as the official party of council election after election while the Labor Party continues to obey the rule and think it might be rewarded for it, the stupid, daft, pricks.

So will the LNP-controlled council extend its current 16-year term? My guess is: most likely with minimal ward losses.

Will Smoko go the next federal election as PM? There’s a very good chance of that too if he can slowly wind back his current disastrous disapproval figures. Regardless of what the LNP stands for, they probably know axing three PMs in three consecutive terms won’t go down well in voterland who might get so upset they could even risk Labor.

So, that then, are the LNP and the LNP.

Doing what you’d expect from God’s chosen and natural party of government, regardless of how fucking corrupt and evil they are.