Fresh poll likely as Coalition shatters


The secret agreement that allows the Liberal and National parties to govern Australia in coalition is likely to be torn up after Prime Minister Scott Morrison publicly called his deputy Michael McCormack “a dullard”.

And political commentators believe a fresh election is likely even if the PM recants from his “highly offensive and inflammatory” description of his deputy and the Nationals leader.

Mr McCormack, the acting PM until Mr Morrison returns from Hawaii possibly today, is locked in his Wagga electorate office and is said to be inconsolable after reading the PM’s description of him in today’s Sydney Morning Herald.

dullard - SMH heading - net

The offending sentence, taken from a Peter Hartcher opinion piece titled “Prime Minister Morrison goes M.I.A.” (above) clearly states: Morrison said yesterday that he’d texted the Opposition Leader in advance [of his OS holiday plans] to let him know he was handing responsibility to the dullard McCormack (below).


dullard - dertail- net.jpg

A senior member of Mr McCormack’s electoral office said the Deputy Prime Minister had locked himself in a back conference room dressed as Elvis and was singing a medley of songs from, of all things, Blue Hawaii.

“He often does that when he’s really depressed and down and badly needs to cheer himself up.

“We can hear him crying in there between songs and shouting things like “I am not a dullard!” and “people who fall asleep at dinner parties I’m at always apologise later, saying they were just very, very tired after really long and hectic days” and “If I’m a dullard what does that make Bridget McKenzie, George Christensen and a few others?”

Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese told The Bug this morning Mr Morrison had a lot of explaining to do when he flew back in to Sydney later today.

“The most common dictionary definitions of dullard are of a slow, stupid or unimaginative person.

“Synonyms for dullard include a blockhead, chump, clod, dolt, dummkopf, dummy, dunce, numskull and thickhead, among many others.

“So while it’s pretty clear that Mr Morrison’s description of his deputy is spot on, he needs to explain why he put Australia in this dullard’s hand for a whole week when our entire nation was facing an unprecedented fire emergency,” Mr Albanese said.