Catfight leaves Lambie, Hanson scratched

FEDERAL POLITICS:

A short but fierce catfight in a Canberra eatery has left two high-profile pollies with more than just a few scratches and bruises – and hurt feelings to match.

The Bug understands that the fight quickly escalated late last night after Senator Pauline Hanson, walking past a Manuka Chinese restaurant as she looked for somewhere with white Australian cuisine, spotted Senator Jacqui Lambie inside with her minders.

Before Senator Hanson’s own people could intervene, the Queensland pollie rushed inside and confronted her Tasmanian counterpart.

Bystanders claim Hanson said: “That anti-Chinese rant of yours in the Senate tonight with that corny, faked, dumbed-down Aussie accent is going to go viral and make Australia look stupid all around the world!

“That’s my job!” Hanson snarled when Lambie just smiled up at her.

“And don’t you ever forget that, you dyed black-haired harriden!”

Lambie shot back: “Well, youse had better just get yoused to it, you red-haired ugly redneck.”

Other diners claim Hanson then shouted: “I’ve hated slant-eyes, gooks, chinks and spics and specs since before you were born, little miss Jacqui-come-lately.

“If you think you’re going to take away my solid base of decent hardworking people with this crap talk you’ve got another think coming. They may be even simpler than I am  but they’re smart enough to see right through the likes of you.  I’m all over you, sister. I’ll take you down!”

Lambie responded: “You and what army?”

Hanson: “You army jerk reject!”

Lambie: “You failed fish and chip fryer!”

Hanson: “You botox-lipped lightweight!”

Lambie: “You … you… you….flippity floppitygibbett YOU!”

The Tasmanian Senator then stood up and threw a pork bun smothered in hoisin sauce at Hanson. The two Senators closed in and fought viciously for quite some moments with short jabs and hair pulls before being  pulled apart.

“The fur really started to fly,” one of the restaurant patrons told The Bug. “It was shame it was broken up, really.”

ABC psephologist Antony Green told The Bug the restaurant fight, while a tad tacky and unseemly, was nevertheless symbolic of the wider political battle now under way for the hearts and minds of right-wing voters disenchanted with the major parties and the Australian democratic process in general.