Pope returns another relic

anews in brief dinkus

Pope Francis makes Christmas gift

In a surprise announcement, the Vatican says it will return another holy relic to Bethlehem as a further gesture of Christian goodwill in the lead-up to Christmas Day marking the birth of Jesus Christ.

The news was greeted enthusiastically by Christians across the Holy Land and not so much by others in the region.

The announcement followed the arrival in Bethlehem last week of a small, thumb-sized fragment of timber taken from a larger relic held at the Vatican since the 7th century which is believed to be from the manger in which Jesus slept following his birth.

Following the positive response to the arrival of the first relic fragment, Pope Francis announced the return to Bethlehem of the Holy Allen Key believed to have been used to assemble the manger (main picture).


Tesla chased for compo

Elon Musk’s electric vehicle firm Tesla is facing a multi-billion-dollar lawsuit from an Australian company over the alleged copycat design of its new Cybertruck.

Brisbane-based industrial design practice Number Two which specialises in bed pans for the hospital and health-care sector said it had launched legal action to stop production of the new truck.bed pan

“When you look at the Cybertruck you can’t help but see it’s the shitting … I mean, spitting image of our popular Brown Blaster model (pictured), the spokesperson said.

“We believe there is a prima faeces case for compensation from Tesla and our lawyers will be pursuing the issue vigorously.”

Toast of the town

An Ohio corn farmer says crowds of people are descending on his home town to pay homage to the image of Donald Trump that appeared in a piece of toast he recently made himself for breakfast (pictured).

Trump toastBuck Mee told a team of reporters who flew to the town of Wuckfit to cover his discovery: “I voted for Trump in 2016 and I’ll do it again in 2020. The number of people visiting town shows he’ll win a second term, no doubt about it.”

When asked if his attraction might also suggest that Trump was toast when it came to the next election Mr Mee thought for a moment, produced a shotgun, and asked reporters to leave.

Ikea issues recall

Global homewares retailer Ikea has issued an urgent recall for one of its bedding products which it says may pose an injury risk to newborn babies.

The company said its myrrh baby crib was being recalled and would be urgently redesigned to ensure its safety.

“There are probably hundreds of thousands of the myrrh crib around the world because we’ve been selling it for what seems like a couple of thousand years,” the spokesperson said.

“Anyone who has bought or received a myrrh as a gift for their newborn should return it to any of our stores and receive a refund.”