Dogged research pays off


Poo bags or dog nappies (above) for “walkies” might be a thing of the past for dog owners, with news that Chinese geneticists and DNA “manipulators” have developed a canine breed that never defecates.

The scientists at Beijing Tech spent several years cross-breeding the Chinese  domestic purebred Shih Tzu with the little known Nottingham short-haired poodle from England.

They claim the new breed that they’ve called the Shih Tzu Not never, ever, has a bowel movement.

There are only two current setbacks to ownership of a Shih Tzu Not, that the Chinese government hopes to market worldwide as the nopoo-dle, the scientists say.

Puppies cost up to $4000 Australian each, and they only live for a maximum of about 10 days.


Researchers at one of the world’s leading manufacturers of toilet paper rolls have created a paper with a surface so shiny that faeces simply doesn’t stick to it.

The Sorbent researchers were briefed with coming up with the revolutionary paper design to complement the invention, announced just last week, of a new toilet pan material that faeces doesn’t cling to, virtually making the toilet brush obsolete.

Sorbent says the new paper roll material, created wholly in the laboratory from non-arboreal sources, means that the same sheets of toilet paper can be used over and over again because they can never get soiled, just like the new pans.

“It means budget-conscious customers will be really able to clean up, so to speak, when it comes to monthly savings on toilet tissue for the average family,” a Sorbent spokesperson said.

“Which is more that can be said for any of their arses.”