Nine spins off Karl’s return

tvsetThe Nine Network plans to leverage its signing of Karl Stefanovic to once again co-host the Today show by making a six-part series about his return.

An anonymous network source said the one-off series would feature Stefanovic, his new Today co-host for 2020, Allison Langdon, and the show’s current two hosts, Georgie Gardner and Deborah Knight as well as other stars of the show.

“The first installment of the new series to air in early January will show Karl finding out how much Nine is going to pay him for his services,” the source said.

“You’ll no doubt recall the controversy before Karl was sacked last year about the disparity between what he was paid and the pay packet of his former co-host Lisa Wilkinson.

“To be absolutely fair, Karl’s new salary will be set at random by asking him to spin a giant wheel containing various salaries ranging from nothing to $3 million (main picture).

karlstefanovic salary2“People who are not in the industry might think Karl would object to that process, but those of us on the inside who know him were not the least bit surprised when he didn’t.

“To be absolutely fair, Allison as Karl’s new co-host  will also spin the wheel to determine her salary (pictured).

“The big wheel will also be used to determine who gets what dressing room at the Nine studios and who gets what type of freebie luxury car and other perks.

“Other episodes in the six-part series will show current Today hosts Georgie and Deb as the news is broken to them that they are being sacrificed to allow for the return of a talentless  ego on legs who’ll help front a show with an audience that’s literally dying out.

catapult exes“To lighten the mood, our producers have struck on the idea of having viewers watch how network executives rid themselves of Georgie and Deb by having Scott Cam from The Block knock up a bespoke catapult (pictured) for the two girls.

“The idea came from the same guys who designed our ‘shredder’ and ‘boot’ used to dispose of defeated MPs during our federal election coverage.

“But instead of being animated, the catapult will be real so it’ll be a lot more fun.

“We think the whole six-part series will provide a great lead-in to  Karl’s return to doing what he does best, which is pretty much nothing,” the source said.