Corbyn eyes PM’s seat

UK POL DINKUSUK Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has announced several key candidates he hopes will defeat big-name Conservative MPs at the 12 December election including Prime Minister Boris Johnson.

This morning Mr Corbyn attended a rally in Mr Johnson’s constituency of Uxbridge and South Ruislip in west London to announce Labour’s candidate.

“I am very pleased to declare that Labour has endorsed Mrs Betty Windsor (pictured with Mr Corbyn) to take the fight up to Boris Johnson at the coming election,” Mr Corbyn said.

“Betty is the type of person we need, not just in the House of Commons, but in a Labour Party government.

“Betty is a typical London mother and housewife. Unfortunately, she received minimal education, has never had a real job, and she and her family have been dependent on government payments for all their lives.

“But I can say that her heart is in the right place and she wants to see Boris Johnson out of 10 Downing Street and out of this constituency,” he said to wild applause.

Mrs Windsor told the crowd she was looking forward to the campaign and the election.

“One knows one has an uphill battle here in …. whatever this place is called,” one said.

“One has been told that Mr Johnson’s margin was eroded badly at the 2017 election which saw a 13.6% swing to Labour.

“So although he was a clear winner then, this time with Brexit and Mr Johnson’s own appalling decisions and behaviour as PM, one feels one has a good shot at unseating the flabby, oily, grubby little oink.”

After the rally Mr Corbyn and Mrs Windsor were overheard discussing how she might represent the people of Uxbridge and South Ruislip while never setting foot in the House of Commons.

“One has nothing to say about that,” Mrs Windsor snapped when quizzed about the discussion as she entered a large chauffeur-driven maroon Daimler limousine and sped off from the rally.