Bunnings is breathing a sigh of relief following news that global retail distribution giant Amazon has postponed its entry into the hardware market.
Amazon had planned to challenge the dominance of Bunnings in the hardware and home improvement market by offering home delivery by remote-controlled drones.
But The Bug understands Amazon was forced at the 11th hour to cancel plans to start its new service after it failed to perfect the delivery of sausage sizzle items.
“We were hopeful of being in the market by now,” Amazon’s director of Australian operations, Sel Cheapleigh, told The Bug.
“But we haven’t yet been able to perfect the delivery of sausages in bread and the trials we have undertaken have all failed (main picture).
“It’s vital we get it right because our research shows that it’s the sausage sizzles that gets customers to Bunnings, and while they are there they decide to look inside and maybe buy some of the cheap, low quality, unreliable, and overpriced Chinese crap that clogs every one of their dozens of aisles.
“Amazon doesn’t need a physical store to sell all that shit. We can deliver it all while customers wait in the comfort of their own home.
“We have drones of different sizes to deliver anything from tap washers to a ride-on Gardenline mower (pictured). But we struggle with sausages in bread slices.
“Our attempts so far have been a disaster, quite frankly. So while we’re continuing our trials — with and without onions — I really can’t tell you when we’ll be launching our hardware service,” Mr Cheapleigh said.