ScoMo plans parting last words


Prime Minister Scott Morrison has secretly drafted and rehearsed a concession speech to be delivered tonight if the Labor Party wins government.

A Liberal Party strategist who spoke to The Bug on the condition of anonymity stressed the PM’s actions should not be interpreted as defeatism in the face of opinion polls suggesting a win by Bill Shorten and Labor.

“There’s nothing wrong with being prepared,” the strategist said.

“The Prime Minister likes to plan ahead and to cover all possibilities. That’s all he has done by drafting a concession speech and spending some time rehearsing it at the Intercontinental Hotel ballroom the party has hired for its post-election gathering in Sydney (main picture).

“It’s far better to have some suitable words ready beforehand rather than try to quickly scribble out a speech tonight if the government is defeated.”

The strategist said Mr Morrison had drafted his own possible concession speech because he wanted it to express his sentiments in his own words and in his own unique style.

“Basically the Prime Minister wants to ensure any concession speech is over and done with quickly,” he said.

“He doesn’t want to drag it out. That’s why he’ll use an electric scooter and enter from the side of the stage in the hotel’s ballroom.

“He’ll pause as he reaches a microphone stand and give his speech before flattening the scooter and existing the stage.

“The speech will consist entirely of the words: ‘How good is Bill Shorten and Labor?’

“So between the scooter and the abbreviated speech he should be on and off the stage in an estimated nine seconds,” the strategist said.

When asked if the Prime Minister had also prepared a victory speech, the strategist looked at his watch, said “Is that the time?” and walked away.