Morrison set to declare martial law


Prime Minister Scott Morrison is expected to move in the next 24 hours to cancel the federal election on Saturday, impose martial law throughout the nation and shut down the Australian Electoral Commission.

The Bug understands the Prime Minister’s plan involves stripping current Defence Forces Chief General Angus Campbell of his role and putting current Governor-General Sir General Peter Cosgrove in the position to oversee the martial law implementation.

General Sir Governor-General Cosgrove will be tasked with stationing army forces, backed by tanks, around the AEC headquarters in Canberra and at AEC divisional centres for the country’s 151 House of Representatives seats.

All existing ballot papers from the estimated four million Australians who have already pre-polled will be confiscated and around 51 per cent of them will be destroyed.

“The PM is just waiting for the final #newspoll of the campaign before declaring martial law,” a Liberal campaign strategist told The Bug.

“If it shows what many mainstream political pundits are saying – that the late swing is to Labor – then the plan will be swung into action.

“The PM said only this morning at a strategy meeting: ‘If it looks like I’m going to go, I’m going to have a go.’

“Mr Morrison told us: ‘It’s time voters realised that if they vote for Scott Morrison they’ll get Scott Morrison as PM. If they vote for Bill Shorten, they’ll get Scott Morrision as PM.”

Asked why the plan called for Sir General Governor-General Cosgrove to replace General Campbell, the strategist said: “Well, being career military men, both are terrible, terrible Tories but the PM thought General Campbell’s eyes were a little too close-set for him to be trusted completely.”

Did the PM have any fears that his declaration of martial law and poll shutdown would lead to displays of public anger and possible blood on the streets?

“Look, Labor voters took it up the arse when John Kerr got more pissed than usual and sacked Gough Whitlam in 1975 and replaced him with a bloke who didn’t have the numbers in the Parliament, so nothing will happen this time either.

“We’re just tampering with Australian democracy here. It’s not as if the PM will be sacking the entire Australian Test side on the eve of the Ashes or anything really important like that.”