We’re tired too …. of crap stories

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The internet is a hungry beast and needs constant feeding, especially if you are running a news website.

But it also enables news outlets to scour the nation and the world for worthwhile stories that inform, entertain, and even educate their readers.

So why do News Corp news websites fall back on running fluff like the views of a body language expert on the relative performances of Scott Morrison and Bill Shorten at their latest campaign debate?

An online story after their head-to-head clash on Wednesday night quoted one such expert, Dr Louise Mahler, who proclaimed both party leaders were feeling the toll of the election campaign.

“They’re tired, less energised, less aggressive and less differentiated,” she was quoted as saying.

She added that their body language suggested neither leader was fit to represent Australia on the world stage. Well, that’s a big call.

The same Dr Mahler was quoted in another online News Corp story on the same day giving all sorts of interpretations about the hidden meanings behind the hand movements, hair touching, and even the blinks of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex as they showed off their new son.

From all she saw of the Duke and Duchess at Windsor Castle – we assume via a TV screen somewhere here in Australia – she concluded: “He’s protective of the baby and so is she.”

No shit Sherlock!

We at The Bug have always been sceptical of body language “experts” who read deep meaning into a person’s every move and gesture.

While they might interpret someone scratching their nose as an indicator of their truthfulness or the like, we tend to think they may just have an itchy nose.

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While it’s easy to understand the basic motive behind what drives Rupe’s rotten rags – its money-hungry owner hates Labor for a number of selfish, self-centred and possibly senile reasons and wants it destroyed at the election – it’s a lot more difficult to comprehend the MO his brown-nosing underlings adopt in going about that task.

080519 front pagesWednesday’s own goals by the Daily Telegraph and The Courier-Mail are a classic case in point. Trying to put your brain inside those of the scribes and editors at News Corp to understand the thinking behind their actions can leave you none the wiser, your brain hurting and your IQ lowered.

What were they trying to say in claiming Bill Shorten had somehow deliberately and mischievously left out his late mum Ann’s mid-life “illustrious” legal career? That Bill’s not really a dinky-di Labor man? That he comes from a family awash with shitloads of money seeing the family breadwinner was a barrister? He should really be a Tory?

Miranda Devine in her pathetic defence of the Tele also banged on that Shorten should have mentioned that part of his mum’s working life.

Shorten spent some four minutes on Q&A talking about Ann’s life as a mother and teacher; how long should he have talked, Miranda, to outline Ann’s entire story, up to her funeral five years ago? Eight minutes? Ten?

The Bug can see the Tele headline now if that had happened:

Revealed: Shorten babbles on to avoid scrutiny over his uncosted, high-taxing policies.

Nice little jockey line, that, above the BIG SPLASH in a bold, chunky, sans serif 200 point font……

MUMMY’S
BOY!

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Anyone doubt the damage the Murdocracy has done to itself and the LNP’s chances with their Wednesday attacks on Shorten?

Late the day before, Sportsbet had Labor at $1.25 to form government and the LNP at $3.85. Ladbrokes had Labor at $1.20 and the LNP at $4.50.

On Friday morning, Sportbet has Labor at $1.15 and $5.25 for the LNP; Ladbrokes has it at $1.14 to $5.50. Oh, that’s almost a tie!

So well done to everyone at the Daily Tele and The Courier-Mail. The Bug understands Rupert Murdoch will be calling you all shortly – from the most humble of political reporters and commentators to subeditors and senior editors and the boardroom executives – with details of your respective bonuses for jobs well done.