Australia’s best by far – yet least-read humour and satire online newspaper – has decided not to do its #newspoll spoofs any more, even though fake ones like the one above from late March helped boost its pathetic readership numbers.
“We haven’t stopped because we were upsetting too many people on social media platforms,” said one of the owners of The Bug who cannot be named as it might help creditors track him down. “That just made us want to do them more.”
“But the reality is: how many different slants can you take on #newspoll and how many times can you take the mickey out of that toilet paper roll also known as The Australian?
“Truth is we ran out of puff some time ago and would have pulled the pin then except so many people on social media thought we were being really naughty and deceptive so what were we to do?
“We particularly enjoyed the one shown above because at that time, the idea that One Nation could move past that other ultra right-wing political organisation, the LNP, and feature in the two-party-preferred pie chart appealed to us.
“It was incredibly unfunny but to our discredit we went ahead with it any way.
“Satire is at its most effective when it has a kernal of truth about it. This went way beyond that. We wanted to test the limits of voters’ naivety.
“And when you look at the supposed current level of support for Clive ‘the cheque’s in the mail’ Palmer’s United Australia Party, especially in Townsville where the big fella fucked them all over big time, there’s a helluva lot of naivety out there at the moment.
“The irony is that after Pauline Hanson’s blubbering “I’m the victim here” appearance on A Current Affair recently, such a 2PP result is probably now more possible than ever.
“Pauline Hanson has not the slightest interest in what working people want or need – never has had – but her ‘battler’ supporters whom she pretends to champion to stay on the public teat until she’s 85 now probably support her more than ever. How fucking brain-dead stupid can you get, eh?”
The Bug spokesperson said the #newspoll spoofs, nevertheless, had been cancelled with some regret.
“Still, that’s all behind us now. We’ve given it away. No more pathetic attempts to trick people online into looking at our site. It’s all down hill from here.”