Jones marks Latham’s dance card

EXCLUSIVE:

Sydney radio shock jock Alan Jones has put a price on his $10,000 donation to support former federal Labor Party leader Mark Latham in his bid to win an upper house seat for One Nation at this month’s NSW state election.

The Bug can reveal exclusively that Mr Jones gave the funds on the condition Mr Latham would partner him in the next series of Network 10’s hit show Dancing With The Stars.

The two men have been busy practising, with Mr Jones dressed as he plans to appear when the new series airs later this year (main picture above).

“I’ll be appearing with Mark on the show as Gloria Whole,” Mr Jones explained.

“Gloria is an old character I  invented many years ago, a sort of alternative personality or alter ego.

Dancing With The Stars will be Gloria’s very first public appearance. Up to now I have only ever brought out Gloria at private parties and similar events just for a laugh.

“I am sure viewers will come to know and love Gloria Whole just as much as I do.”

Mr Latham said he was happy to meet the conditions Mr Jones had placed on the donation to his One Nation campaign.

“Let’s face it, I’m totally unemployable,” he said. “I’ve gone from alternative prime minister to washed up dickhead in just over a decade.

“I was even sacked by Sky News. How bad do you have to be for that? It shows how much of a washed-up loudmouth shithead I’ve become.

“But all that makes me perfectly suited to a spot in the NSW upper house where I can do fuck all, get paid a shitload of money by taxpayers, and all I have to do is get out the megaphone and give the greenies, lefties, feminazis, and just about everyone else a spray now and then.

“So, yeah, I’m happy to whore myself out and take Alan’s cash. Besides, Gloria is a real hottie,” Mr Latham said.