Downer bid to hold the Mayo praised

FEDERAL POLITICS:

The Liberal Party of South Australia has fully backed its candidate for the federal seat of Mayo, the Dowager Lady Georgina Downer, after she copped unexpected criticism for helping a struggling bowls club in her electorate.

Ms Downer on Friday pretended to present her own personal cheque to the Yankalilla Bowling Club for works on its rinks (pictured at rock bottom) yet copped flak from ignorant serfs and vassals in the town and nearby hamlets who thought she was big-noting herself just a tad seeing the money was actually a Commonwealth sports grant and her cheque, used as a prop for a publicity stunt, was in fact worthless.

A Liberal Party of South Australia spokesperson on the basis of anonymity told The Bug: “Look, sure, it was a sneaky, self-serving, unethical and a totally dishonest thing to do so naturally enough we are very proud of her.

“She is going to be an enormous asset to the party in the federal parliament.”

And Prime Minister Scott Morrison, who has shown over recent months he’d bludgeon a mangy dog to death with an axe handle in a crowded street if he thought there was a vote in it, texted his support: “Well done, Georgina!

“Along with that personal cheque for $50 billion that you presented some time ago to South Australian shipyards for the build of those new French submarines – a move that has assured tens of thousands of your fellow South Australians jobs in the years ahead – your commitment to your local community is exemplary.

“I have no doubt the good voters of Mayo will reward you for that. You’ve had a red-hot go so you deserve to get a red-hot go at Mayo.”

Lady Downer could not be contacted for comment.

When The Bug went to the Downer Family estate and knocked on the door of Pout House, a junior under-footman advised: “We have released the hounds.”

georgina's cheque