ScoMo defends anthem change


Prime Minister Scott Morrison has vehemently rejected criticism that he is politicising the national anthem by unilaterally approving changes to the lyrics of Advance Australia Fair.

“Fair dinkum, as a fair dinkum sort of guy I’m only doing what’s right and fair dinkum in the current circumstances,” Mr Morrison told a news conference in Canberra to launch new livery for the Australian Border Force (main picture).

Mr Morrison used the ABF event to release details of the rewritten official version of Advance Australia Fair.

“Unlike the Labor Party led by the terrorists’ friend Bill Shorten, I love Australia and I would never ever think of opening the door, so to speak, to let thousands, maybe tens or even hundreds of thousands of rapists, murderers, and paedophiles into our country to rape, murder, and pell…. I mean, paedophilise innocent Australians.

“Fair dinkum, I think we have to be fair dinkum in everything we do as a fair dinkum government and I’ve demonstrated that with the changes we’ve made to our national anthem.”

Under the amendments approved by the federal Cabinet, two lines in the second verse of Advance Australia Fair will change from “For those who’ve come across the seas; We’ve boundless plains to share” and will instead be sung as “For those who’ve come across the seas; Christmas Island will be yours to bear”.

“The government will naturally expect all Australians to adhere to the law of the land and sing this new and updated version of our national anthem,” Mr Morrison said.

“This is really a very minor change, so I don’t know what all the fuss is about to be honest.

“Fair dinkum, Australians will be bursting with pride as they once again stand to sing our anthem at cinemas around this amazing country of ours before the start of the movie. It’s a wonderful sign of patriotism and love of country that’s been missing for far too long.”

Mr Morrison scoffed at suggestions that a large portrait of himself would fill cinema screens as the curtains parted and the anthem was being played and sung lustily.

“It will be my entire family.”