Boris plays by the rules

UK POLITICS:

Conservative Party insiders believe former UK foreign secretary Boris Johnson has found a loophole in party rules that could see him become British Prime Minister before the end of the year.

Current British PM, Theresa May, recently survived a no-confidence motion from within her party.

A Conservative Party insider backing Mr Johnson for PM told The Bug the party’s rules meant Mrs May was now immune from any further no-confidence motions for at least 12 months.

“But the rules are silent on whether a confidence motion as opposed to a no-confidence motion is off limits,” he said.

“That means the party could vote in favour of installing Theresa May as PM. Again, the rules are silent on which particular Theresa May that means.

“So Boris (pictured) has flown to and from Thailand where he underwent a fast sex-change operation and has finalised paperwork for changing his name to Theresa May by deed poll.

“He’s even taken intensive lessons in bad dancing.

“We think we’ve got the PM snookered. The only details we need to work out is how to distinguish the Theresa May government from the Theresa May government when Boris, I mean Theresa takes over.

“We think we might refer to the new Theresa as Theresa II once he, I mean she, is PM, just to avoid confusion.

“Once we sort that out we’ll start work on resolving Brexit, because quite frankly right now we haven’t got a clue what the answer is to that steaming pile of shit sandwiches,” the insider said.