In the wake of the US mid-term elections, the new Democratic Party majority in the US Congress has exercised its powers to deliver a new office for President Donald Trump.
The new office at the District of Columbia’s Central Detention Facility (CDF) in south-east Washington (main picture) will replace the traditional historic Oval Office in the West Wing of the White House.
“The President was initially quite relaxed about his new office when first briefed on it, especially the care we took in designing it to his particular taste,” a Democratic Party spokesperson said.
“His attitude changed, however, when he learned about the gold bars we included in the design.
“When we told him they were not the kind of gold bars we could deposit in one of his offshore tax-dodging bank accounts he became very angry and upset,” the spokesperson said.
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President Donald Trump has continued to shift blame for the Republican Party’s rout at the mid-term elections.
Speaking to Fox News after the Democratic Party took control of both houses of the US Congress, Mr Trump again refused to accept that the result was a judgement by voters against him and his administration.
“Well, it wasn’t as if I ever went out and asked people to vote as if I were on the ballot,” he lied.
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Reports have emerged of a sudden health crisis that hit both Rupert Murdoch and his son Lachlan (both far right below) as they were watching the results of the US mid-term elections.
Reports from within News Crap International have revealed both men collapsed when struck by explosive diarrhoea as the extent of the wins by the Democratic Party became apparent.
A company source said Rupert Murdoch, aged 117, and his 55-year-old son were rushed to hospital for treatment after ambulances were called to News Crap’s headquarters in New York.
“Both are all Right, as usual, but still not out of the woods yet as far as their health is concerned,” the source said.
“In their delirium both men keep muttering ‘nobody is listening to us’ while expressing concerns about Fox News network’s ‘deliberately untruthful but profitable hate-based business model’ being wrecked by the poll results.
“They are also both rousing now and again to mumble fears of going to jail for actively helping President Trump tell lies and attempt to destroy democracy.
“But whenever that fear is expressed by either of them they always add: ‘At least we still have Australia’,” the source said.
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President Trump lies he is disappointed that he will not be able to deliver on his pre-election promise to give every adult American $5,000 if the Republican Party retained control of both houses of Congress at the mid-term elections.
Mr Trump lied he had been looking forward to keeping his promise that would have cost taxpayers US$1.2 trillion.
“I was even going to personally sign each one of those checks, I mean cheques to you Aussies,” he lied to one of The Bug‘s Washington bureau reporters on a guided tour of the White House ballroom construction site.
“But now I won’t have to do that since I’ll be keeping all the money myself. So I guess every cloud has a gold lining, as the old saying goes.”
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