HALLOWEEN:
A Brisbane man says a community lobby group he started more than a year ago has experienced an upsurge in its membership but admits it is fighting a losing battle.
Trevor Snerd (main picture) said he started his new group, GROATHS, in early October last year and soon found strong grassroots support.
“I started GROATHS, which stands for Get Rid Of All This Halloween Shit, to lobby authorities for a ban on all the shoddy but expensive plastic Halloween shit that’s clogging footpaths, covering fences, infesting trees and shrubs, and making our suburban streetscapes also look like shit,” Mr Snerd told a meeting of members of GROATHS held under his house.
“Just over a year ago I called a meeting like this one and was overwhelmed by the number of people, like you, who turned up to protest about all the shit clogging our neighbourhoods,” he told the meeting.
“Just like me, you all wanted to see an end to all the ugly mass-produced plastic Halloween shit – skeletons, bats, pumpkins, and fake cobwebs that overwhelm many front fences and footpaths at this time of year.
“Sadly the money-grubbing shits in the big retail chains long ago discovered they can sell all this sort of shit at hugely marked up prices.
“These price-gouging shits ignore the fact that the shit they sell ends up in landfill, chokes or traps birds and other wildlife, or breaks down and ends up in Moreton Bay killing fish and other marine life.”
Mr Snerd admitted to the GROATHS meeting that the group had not made the impact he had first anticipated.
“Unfortunately it seems too many hypocritical shitheads who profess concern about the environment are still happy to buy all this shit and drape it all over their fences and footpaths to make the neighbourhood look like shit,” he said.
“But who in their right mind would want something as ugly and offensive as that shit on display?” he said while pointing at what he believed to be a plastic skeletal Halloween “corpse” slumped on a front row seat.
Mr Snerd was shocked and soon apologised when the “corpse” turned out to be an elderly GROATHS member who had responded “No way!” to his question.
“Shit!” Mr Snerd said.
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