It’s happened before but never so early in any month of nominations for The Bug’s top media award, the Janet Albrechtsen trophy for MSM Arse-Licker of the Month.

And we’re talking about our ALOTM judges who, with more than half of October still to run, have never so early issued a desperate plea to the mainstream mediocre’s arselickers to consider seeking unglory.

Sure, past pleas have been made after an entry lobs into the smelly, revolting ALOTM prize barrel and word gets out to the industry that even the judges suspect it’s going to shit it in, so to speak.

And this month is no exception, with the prize barrel virtually drying up – never a bad thing, really – as soon as the entry (below) from past winner Greg “The Cardigan Man” Sheridan lobbed.

One of our ALOTM judges explained: “We were having a conference by our Bundy and Coke bar fridge when we heard that the regular plop-plop of entries into the prize barrel had stopped. We grabbed our drinks, donned our industrial strength steel-lined gloves and PPE and used the iris scanning software to unlock the room containing the barrel. Yes, it is sound and smell proof but we do have an audio monitor;

“And naturally we were shocked when we hosed down and read Sheridan’s entry.

“Of course it’s going to take some beating and we all blushed at its ringmastery and tongue-in-groove excellence. Heck, we even think our prize barrel was still blushing when we got to it.

“So all we can do is make this simple plea to other MSM reporters and columnists: you’ve got to be in it to lose it!”

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