Albo makes a Big Apple deal

NEW YORK: Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has announced a $1 billion-plus investment deal he struck on behalf of Australian taxpayers while in New York for the United Nations general assembly meeting.

“I’ve really managed to pull off the deal of the century,” an elated Mr Albanese said this morning after signing a deal to buy the landmark Brooklyn Bridge.

Addressing reporters at a news conference overlooking the bridge spanning the East River, (main picture) the  Prime Minister said he had paid on behalf of Australian taxpayers $800 million in US currency – equivalent to more than A$1.12 billion – to acquire the bridge.

“I know, I know, it’s hard for you all to fathom how I managed to do a deal like that,” he said to the Australian media pack travelling him on his UN visit who remained standing in shocked and open-mouthed silence.

“Believe me, there’s not many who could pull a deal like that off. I can’t wait to tell Donald [Trump] about this when I see him.”

Mr Albanese explained that he had bought the 143-year-old bridge connecting Manhattan with Brooklyn from an unidentified man who had been listening to his news conference yesterday outside the UN building where he announced the appointment of former News Corp senior executive Siobhan McKenna as Australia’s next Consul-General in New York.

Ms McKenna has worked for two decades for News Corp, has been described as the trusted “right hand” to viciously anti-Labor nominal head of News Corp, Lachlan Murdoch, and also served as head of the broadcasting division of News Corp that included responsibility for the viciously anti-Labor News24 formerly Sky News.

At yesterday’s news conference announcing McKenna’s appointment, Mr Albanese was asked whether he had sought assurances that she would not “continue to lobby or deal with Mr Murdoch” to advance News Corp’s or the Murdoch family’s business interests.

“It was right after I rejected that suggestion and yesterday’s news conference ended that a very nicely dressed New York man with a Bronx accent who had been listening at the edge of the news conference approached me to ask if I really believed what I had said about Ms McKenna,” Mr Albanese explained.

“After I said I did believe it he drew from his very snappy suit’s pocket the deed to the Brooklyn Bridge and we started negotiating on a price.

“I can’t believe the way I was able to screw him down to just US$800 million, and I bet all of you can’t either,” Mr Albanese said to the travelling media pack whose members remained standing in shocked and open-mouthed silence.

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