MEDIA NEWS:

SYDNEY: Four senior officials of the Australian Broadcasting Corporation were last night rushed to various hospitals in Sydney to wait for urgent and highly specialised surgery.

Chair of the ABC board, Kim Williams, managing director Hugh Marks, director of news Simon Robinson, and editorial director Gavin Fang (clockwise from top below) have reportedly been readied for a form of transplant surgery never before attempted anywhere in the world.

Chief spokesperson for the ABC, Tess Patton, said the four men had been admitted to separate Sydney hospitals overnight – the Royal North Shore Hospital, St Vincent’s Hospital, the Prince of Wales Hospital, and the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital – and were this morning being prepared to undergo full spinal transplants.

“The transplanting of an entire human spine is something never before attempted anywhere in the world,” Mr Patton said.

“So to attempt four such procedures at the same time is going to require a lot of time, effort, and resources which is why all four major hospitals and their medical staff are involved.

“Dedicated surgical and nursing teams are now on stand-by to undertake the transplants.”

The three ABC officials were taken to hospital by ambulance from their respective homes last night soon after the start of the ABC political discussion program National Forum began airing.

“The ABC switchboard lit up as soon as the guest panellists for National Forum were announced by David Speers, or Speersie as I am contractually obliged to call him,” Ms Patton said.

“Once David, errr… Speersie, said One Nation MP Barnaby Joyce was a guest (main picture) the calls started flooding in.

“Without fail all callers said ABC leaders needed spine transplants by giving a national platform to any One Nation representative when Pauline Hanson and One Nation have a firm policy of banning the ABC from any of its media conferences or other events, and unashamedly want to destroy the ABC or sell it off or give it away to the likes of Rupert Murdoch or One Nation’s owner, Gina Rinehart.

“The torrent of calls could not be ignored and ABC legal staff said the corporation may be in breach of its duty of care if it failed to act.

“So now it’s just a waiting game. The surgical teams are simply waiting for four donors – most likely four males, or even females at a pinch – who sadly die from accidents or natural causes but whose spines are healthy and suitable for transplant,” Ms Patton said.

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