VICTORIAN ELECTION:

One Nation has released archival material to justify its continued backing of its Victorian state election leader, Warren Pickering, following allegations levelled against him by a former partner about alleged previous illicit drug use and other personal improprieties.

In the immediate aftermath of the scandal, One Nation MP, Barnaby Joyce, came to Mr Pickering’s defence with the former deputy prime minister and National Party leader pointing out that Mr Pickering had previously served in the Australian Defence Force after the incidents had allegedly occurred 20 years ago.

“Obviously the Australian Army thought he was a person of good character because they took him in,” Mr Joyce said.

But under pressure to drop Mr Pickering as its Victorian leader, One Nation undertook some quick historical research into similar incidents and a party spokesperson said the archival work had paid dividends.

“Using various websites, Wikipedia, and AI, we’ve discovered a very similar incident from German politics during the years between World War I and World War II,” the spokesperson said.

“Like all of our public pronouncements we haven’t bothered checking all the details, but it appears from our quick searches that at the time there was some concern about the previous behaviour and beliefs of an up-and-coming political type – a fella called Adolf who was a corporal in the German Army. I can’t recall his surname. (below)

“But then a little-known member of the German imperial family, Kaiser Wilhelm’s cousin, Archduke Barnabas, (main picture) came to Adolf’s defence, saying that obviously he was a person of good character because the German Army had taken him in.

“So Adolf carried on and although our research didn’t delve any further than that, we’re pretty sure everything worked out pretty much tickety-boo for him and indeed Germany.

“With that historical precedent under our belt, which proves yet again Barnaby Joyce’s impeccable talent for character assessment, we reckon we can sit out the latest scandal – at least until some other bucket of shit tumbles out of Warren’s past.”

The spokesperson did note that Archduke Barnabas had not fared well.

“Sadly he died not long after coming to Adolf’s defence when he fell off a footpath flower planter box in Vienna while yelling at his non-existent dog to stop barking,” he said.

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