Aunty Pauline’s final solution for battlers!

What’s to be made of Australia’s battlers turning towards the party of a far-right, racist, redhead who clearly hates battlers and has never lifted a finger to help them over three decades in politics?

It’s the basic question this amateur psephologist has been asking himself of late – and of course he’s referring to Aunty Pauline, national leader of the white indigenous One Nation people.

Part of the answer is that a hellluva lot of Australians are clearly hurting at the moment but has their cost-of-living pain adversely affected their thought processes?

Thinking Aunty Pauline is the answer to their dilemma is like the inmates of Auschwitz-Birkenau having a whip-around on hearing Hitler was having trouble paying for his next shipment of Zyklon B.

Maybe the stress of having to think regularly about what items to next cross off on their shopping list as they juggle dwindling financial resources and rising rents/mortgages and vehicle costs has left them unable to hear what Aunty Pauline says about them.

That they are lazy. That they need to stop bludging at home and return to working at the office. That they’ve had things too much their own way and it’s time for wokeless governments – hers, soon – to support their employers more. The battlers can be forgiven for missing that last bit: that muffled edict came from well inside Gina Rinehart’s arse.

And more of this putrid shit is going to pour from Aunty Pauline’s pursed and bitter lips over the months up to the next federal election, just to confirm the reality that in three decades in public non-service, she has always opposed pay rises and better conditions for those battlers she claims to champion.

But while Aunty Pauline’s current ongoing success in polls real and made up has confounded this amateur psephologist, my main beef is that the Albanese government has decided it’s good tactics to get stuck into her now about all this history of her anti-battler behaviour.

And I need to ask. For fuck’s sake, why?

At the moment, and for whatever unfathomable reasons, Aunty Pauline and her mob of mindless morons have their feet well and truly on the throats of the Liberal and National parties. So why not just let them get on with their work to ensure the LNP will be truly dead, buried and cremated by mid-2028? That surely has to be Labor’s main game.

Why the fuck would you want to go on a campaign to damage Aunty Pauline to the extent that even under the hapless, hopeless, leadership of Anus Taylor, the LNP might claw its way back above her party on first preference and give it the chance to survive?

Please, Albo and co! Leave her be. You’ve got the frontbench firepower to give her and One-Nation an absolute shellacking in a lengthy campaign in mid 2028. Given One Nation’s record, it might be back to no members of the House of Reps by then, especially if Barnaby Joyce switches to the Senate and his leader stays there too – good money for so few appearances – so please don’t tell me you lack confidence and experience to excoriate the cookers, conspiracy theorists, far-right religious nutters and Trumpians who Aunty Pauline might cobble together for campaign debates. I’m guessing Queensland senator Malcolm Roberts will do a Morrison and speak on a number of shadow portfolios? Does he frighten your senior ministerial colleagues? Who will go head to head with Albo in the election TV dates?

So, please, ease right off. Just keep concentrating on trying to govern in a manner we had all hoped, with such a massive majority, that you might have been capable of? Getting sounder advice from Treasury would be a good start. That, and sending Richard Marles on six-weeks holidays as soon as the election starting gun is fired.

Don Gordon-Brown

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