HOLLYWOOD: Australian actor Guy Pearce (below) says he will not be appearing in a sequel to his latest film Ink in which he plays Australian-born global media baron Rupert Murdoch. (far right at left in main picture)

The new film tells the story of Murdoch’s break into the UK turdbloid newspaper market in the 1960s including the growth in market share he achieved by promoting populist causes and topless “page three girls”.

Pearce said producers of Ink were already working on its as-yet-untitled sequel which would take up the story of the rise of Murdoch, his entry into the US market, and his embrace of far-right political causes and candidates.

“I had been expected to sign up to play Rupert again,” he said. “But the producers came to me recently and said they’ll be going down the AI path with the sequel.

“They want to achieve an even more realistic and nuanced portrayal of Murdoch than I am able to deliver so instead they’ll be using an AI-generated steaming piece of human shit in the lead role. (below)

“I must admit, I’ve seen some of the early rushes and I’ve got to back their artistic choice 100%,” Pearce said.

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BOSTON, MA: In a surprising assessment, historians at Harvard University have delivered their own verdict on where Donald Trump (far right at centre in main picture) ranks in the best-to-worst list of US Presidents but have not placed him last as many observers had anticipated.

The panel of presidential scholars drawn from various Harvard faculties issued its own list ranking of all American presidents from best to worst following a Truth Social post by President Trump in which he rated himself as the greatest president of all time, ahead of the likes of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Franklin Roosevelt. (below)

“We respectfully disagree with President Trump about his ranking on the best-president scale,” a statement by the experts said.

“While we did not put him last, he is second-last on our listing – just ahead of a steaming piece of human shit (below) which Trump himself extruded and left in the drawer of the Resolute desk in the Oval Office for Joe Biden to find on inauguration day in January 2021 after Trump lost the 2020 election.”

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TEL AVIV: Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, is understood to have decided to dismiss controversial national security minister Itamar Ben-Gvir (far, far right at far right in main picture) from his cabinet in the lead-up to elections next month.

An Israeli government source said the PM wanted to minimise fallout from Ben-Gvir’s ongoing genocidal tirades against Palestinians including his inflammatory social media posts, many of which promote ethnic cleansing, torture, or human rights offences and other actions likely to fall under the definition of war crimes. (below)

“The PM is furious,” the government source said. “By that I mean he is in furious agreement with the sentiments Ben-Gvir expresses publicly.

“But Netanyahu knows there are some lily-livered anti-Zionist Jewish voters who might take offence at his minister’s goals of wiping all Palestinians off the face of the earth.

“So he’s going to sack him soon but will replace him with a steaming piece of human shit. (below)

“The PM suspects, and I agree, that nobody will notice the difference,” the source said.

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