A first-time winner of The Bug’s Media Glass House Arse-Licker of the Month award has stunned our ALOTM judges for its cloacal-cleansing capability although they sense August’s winner engaged his tongue without even thinking of putting what passes for his mind in gear first.

Not that that would have mattered much as they’re talking about LNP/One Nation News24 contributor James Bolt (yes, he is!) and to summarise our judges’ opinions, Bolt has all the analytical skills of a busted boil and journalistic abilities as deep as his surname is long. That’s if he calls himself a journalist, that is.

So while Bolt’s masters at LNP/One NationNews24 and Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch won’t be needing dunny paper for quite a few days, have a look at the website tease that first attracted our judges’ interest.

There’s so much to deconstruct about this discombobulated dose of diarrhoea from Bolt but let’s start Down Under.

Maybe Bolt doesn’t read much into polls both real and opinionated for he states that an ideological threat far greater to our way of life (here in Australia) than Labor’s supermajority (ouch, Albo!) federally is under way right now and if Bolt is far right about this, it’s from the socialist left. His commentary on August 21 clearly showed he missed the Farrer by-election result and many recent opinion polls showing Aunty Pauline’s indigenous white One Nation people doing well. He’ll probably also ignore the latest result in the Western Australian lower-house seat of Secret Harbour and Monday’s Newspoll showing One Nation back ahead of Labor on primaries.

Our judges really don’t believe the Murdochs cop this brown-eyed view of Bolt’s but who really knows. Perhaps both their sphincters quiver in involuntary delight at reading Bolt’s bullshit, just like boys’ bottoms at a Christian Brothers’ boarding school when one of the brothers appears at the dormitory door to call lights out?

So that’s the Australian situation totally cocked up by Bolt but what’s this about a tidal wave of socialist fervour sweeping the US? A muzzie becoming Mayor of New York? The occasional win by a moderate in a Democrats preselection race?

Most of what The Bug‘s crew read about current US politics, with Donald’s diaper deep down in the political dunny, that his best hope for the looming mid-term elections is the total willingness of the US media to paint any Democrats internal process as signs of a divided and dispirited party.

And seeing Rupert in particular has always believed his business interests are best served with Coalition governments in Australia and the Republicans in charge of the US Congress, Bolt might have also fucked up his tongue-and-groove opportunities with that overblown theory of a socialist tidal wave over there.

No “quiver, quiver; pucker, pucker!” response from the Murdochs there either, our judges suspect.

In summary, this current ALOTM award is rather sad, isn’t it? It’s been awarded to a dolt of a Bolt who thought he was rimming with confidence; showing complete ring-mastery just like his dad, but who has totally missed out on the hole. This reward is for his efforts if not the result he wanted.

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