

The Bug, widely regarded around the nation as its more-or-less daily Media Watch through its two excellent industry-gazing columns, Mediocre Bytes and Media Glass House, devotes more awards through trophies, shields, goblets and parchments than anyone else to the very worse in our once wonderful craft of journalism.

Only recently did our CFO find the resources to commission the Bill Shorten Zinger of the Year award (pictured at right). We mentioned even back then that even with that excellent albeit costly addition to our award seasons, both monthly and annually, we were keen to create yet another a new, highly uncoveted, gong once the readies became available.
That’s now happened and we are proud to present our No Shit Sherlock trophy, (shown at top and below) that is primarily available to the hapless electronic mediocre newsreaders for the shit they are often forced to sprout on air.

The new trophy concept was inspired by Nine News Queensland newsreader Joel Dry who a few weeks back had to reassure its viewer that a white Humpback whale calf travelling north with its mum was not the famous albino Migaloo, first spotted 30 years ago. If Migaloo is still with us, he’d probably weight in at around 40 tonnes and his cock is probably heavier than that white baby spotted off the east coast of Oz. So thanks to the unknown “journalist” who made Dry read out that malarkey.

And it is with the striking of our new trophy that we are excited to announce that another contender for end-of-year NSS! trophy glory is the totally blameless ABC Queensland 7pm news reader Jessica van Vonderen who uttered these remarkable words in advance of the Brisbane Broncos heading to Townsville for a must-win NRL clash with the Cowboys: “… the Broncos are refusing to roll over as they chase the near impossible: a finals berth…”
No Shit Sherlock! To roll over in a sporting contest means to lose a game very easily. Sort of infers a deliberate act, doesn’t it? Firstly, congrats to the Broncos players if someone suggested that should happen to collect a juicy wager and they refused it! Very noble. Very professional!
Like all youse BUGgers out there, we refuse to believe the Broncos will be making the flight north depleting the plane’s grog supplies on the way, making David Boon proud as punch, talking about the size of their upcoming loss and what it should be to avoid any suspicion, the costumes they’d be wearing on Mad Morning and who’s going to blow the highest reading on the way home from those shenanigans if they aren’t arrested over a pub brawl first!
And we wish to repeat, Jessica van Vonderen is not to blame here, as this historic image from our library shows.

…

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

