PM’s new apology and Garma plan

CANBERRA: Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has walked back his controversial comments that he would “shag, marry, date” singer Kylie Minogue.

A spokesperson for the Prime Minister’s Office (PMO) said Mr Albanese no longer stood by his comments about the attractiveness of Ms Minogue.

“He has thought long and hard about those comments over the past week, especially after his public appearance with Indian PM, Narendra Modi, in Melbourne before tens of thousands of Indian voter… I mean, tens of thousands of Indian Australians,” the spokesperson said. (main picture)

“He now wishes it to be known that he would easily shag, marry, and date Mr Modi.

“However, his apology to Ms Minogue still stands, although now the PM wishes to amend it slightly to say sorry for not wanting to shag, marry, and date her.”

The PMO spokesperson also said Mr Albanese had made arrangements that he felt confident would  address any disappointment felt by Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples for his failure to attend this year’s Garma Festival despite making a promise to do so.

“The PM cannot make it to Garma because of some very important longstanding commitments we are yet to organise, but has nominated someone to represent him,” the spokeswoman said.

“We are now arranging for Senator Aunty Pauline Hanson (below) of the white indigenous One Nation people to take the PM’s place at the festival this year.

“Senator Aunty Pauline is a noted elder of the white indigenous potatofritter people of the fishermansbasket nation who have traded greaseproof paper in and around the Ipswich region for generations.

“A highlight of her visit will no doubt be her scheduled live interview with Karl Stefanovic for his podcast in which Karl plans to confess his own desire to shag, marry, date her and expand on Senator Aunty Pauline’s recent UK visit and the lessons she might have learned from the talks she held there with British white indigenous elder Uncle Tommy Robinson of the racisthooligans peoples,” the spokesperson said.

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