

Outgoing UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer, will today perform what is likely to be his last official public duty by officially opening a new front door for 10 Downing Street, the historic residence of the nation’s political leaders. (main picture)
Following his resignation yesterday Sir Keir directed work begin to urgently install a new glass and metal-framed revolving door to replace the familiar solid polished black wooden door.
“This is going to be one of my major legacies,” he is understood to have told his staff. “In fact it might well be the only one, so let’s get it done, and fast.”
Sir Keir is believed to have personally selected the design of the new door, settling on a model offering large areas of glass.
“This door will give incumbent PMs an increased level of security,” he reportedly told his staff. “Not so much in terms of physical security, but in political terms. Future PMs will now be able to see who’s coming at them to take their job.”
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A potential new candidate for British Labour Party leader and Prime Minister has emerged overnight in addition to newly reminted MP and former Greater Manchester mayor, Andy Burnham.
Numerous influential Labour Party insiders said they have been very impressed with the performance of 10 Downing Street resident, Larry the Cat, (below) during recent months.

“Throughout the chaos of Keir Starmer’s reign Larry has been an island of calm,” one MP said.
“Even at the height of the Peter Mandelson scandal Larry remained cool and composed – just the characteristics we need in a PM right now.
“Don’t think that hasn’t gone unnoticed. I can tell you that people like me and many, many others in Labour’s ranks are starting to count the numbers for Larry,” the MP said.
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A number of previously low-profile Labour Party MPs are touting a new approach to the party’s leadership following Sir Keir Starmer’s resignation.
The group is proposing a bipartisan tactic to install a new leader in Downing Street by having the Labour Party conscript former Conservative Party prime minister Boris Johnson.
MPs pushing the new model for cross-party leadership include four who actively sought out members of The Bug’s London bureau to push their views including (pictured below clockwise from top left) John Borison, Bo Risjohnson, Job Horissonn, and Sonny Borisjohn.

“We just believe that the chaps and chapettes who vote would really, really like a return to my … I mean Boris’s style of leadership,” Mr Borison said.
“Yah, yah. We all miss good old me … I mean good old Boris. I … I mean, he also spent so much money on renovating the PM’s flat above Number 10 that it makes economic and financial sense to get him back so I… he can finally enjoy the new digs. What-ho!”

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